Page 43 of High Water

“We have to tell her the truth about you being her father. I’d like the chance to tell her myself first, since she’s still getting to know you. I want it to be a safe space for her to vent if she’s upset or angry about it, and I worry she’ll either feel like she can’t because she wants to spare your feelings, or, worse, she’ll say something that will hurt you. She’s a good girl. The best, really. But she’s been through a lot the last couple of years, and I know it’s a possibility she could say something hurtful. I’m prepared for it, but I don’t know if you are.”

“I can take a few shots. If we’re being honest, I can think of a few things she could say that I deserve.” More than a few. But I’m willing to take the hits if it means there’s hope we can get through it.

“She might say some you don’t too.”

“I’m all right with that. I still remember what it’s like to be an angry teenager. I know it’s been a minute since I was, but I get it. I won’t blame her for that. Her parents split. Her bio dad reappears out of nowhere and wants to know her. I’m sure that’s going to be a lot on her doorstep all at once.”

“Are you okay with me telling her first?”

“Whatever you think is best. I’m just thrilled that you’re going to let me know her at all.”

“Which brings us to the next thing. One I know you’re not going to like but I feel strongly about.”

“Which is?”

“I want you to quit all this mercenary work. It’s dangerous. I know you said you help people, that a lot of it is rescuing people and helping them, escorting nonprofit aid agencies into and out of dangerous situations. That’s all well enough. But I also have to imagine you’re operating at a huge risk to your own lives, and it takes you away for long periods of time. Last time you couldn’t even tell me what you were doing.”

“That’s part of the job. We owe our clients security.”

“Fair enough. But I don’t want her to meet her father and then spend her first months of knowing him constantly worried he’s dead somewhere, and we won’t ever know for sure what happened to him. That’s not a fair ask.”

“I gotta tell you, working with your brothers, it’s not much different from what they have me doing.”

“But I’d know, and she’s perceptive, Bishop. She’ll pick up on the anxiety. I can’t lie to her. Not to mention, my brothers listen to me. They appreciate the risk to their own families. They’d feel potential consequences more immediately, and they make decisions accordingly.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’d make them feel something.”

“If they broke my daughter’s heart like that, absolutely. I’d do the same with your current company too. You know what I’m capable of when I set my mind to it.”

I smirk as I nod.

“Well, you’ll be happy to know I already quit.”

“You did?” She’s surprised, and she looks at me wide-eyed.

“I did.”

“When?”

“After I got back here. I was contemplating it, and then when you got sick, I made it official.”

“I thought you were just taking a hiatus.”

“Then I saw how sick you were that weekend. That you needed someone, and if I’d been gone, I wouldn’t have had the chance to take care of you. I want to be there. For you and for Fallon when you need someone.”

Something flashes across her face that I can’t quite read, but she clears it as fast as it appears, and she shifts in her seat.

“Well, that’s good. I’m glad. Because the next part is that I don’t want Fallon to know this is a… a farce, I guess. I’m not sure what to call it. It’s not fake exactly, but it’s not real either, and I can only imagine how it would make her feel to know we were doing this for anything other than love. I’m not even sure she’ll accept that story.”

“Is that the story we’re using? That we’re in love?”

“We need your grandmother and brother to believe it, right? I think it’s best if the secret about how we really feel stays just between the two of us. The more people who know it’s not real, the more chances there are for someone to slip up. And I don’t want to ask that kind of thing of Fallon. I don’t want her lying to anyone for us, you know?”

“I agree.”

“The problem with that is… If we tell her we’re in love and then break things off in a few months when this is over, I worry it’s going to shatter her belief in love altogether. It’s already on the rocks with her feelings about my first divorce. If this second one happens too fast… I’m a horrible mom for even being in this situation in the first place.”

“You’re not a horrible mom, Jones. You’re taking care of your daughter and your family.”