Page 30 of Surrender to Love

“Oh okay. That’s good.”

Before I can say anything else, a man carrying a large tray with our food steps toward the table and places the tray on the edge. “Combination fajitas with extra grilled veggies and jalapeños,” he says and we both nod.

Once all the plates and items are on the table, we say a quick prayer then eat. I can’t lie. I can see why she loves this joint. Everything is seasoned, fresh, and on point. As we eat, she finally talks about her work week. I don’t say shit else about Shuga’s replacement and she skates around her main issue. Even when we leave and are back in her ride, she doesn’t bring it up.

When we reach her crib, there’s no question about me staying. I’m not going anywhere until I know what’s up with her. So when she asks, I just kill the engine and get out. The moment we are back in her house, she steps into my space then wraps her arms around my neck.

“Before my heels are behind my head and touching, let’s talk then shower.”

“Right here or upstairs?”

“Down here, then we can go up,” she says, then pecks my lips. She takes my hand and we walk to the living room.

When we reach the big ass sofa, I ease down then pull her onto my lap. She starts removing her heels but I take over. After our talk and shower, I’ll gladly put them back on, but for now, she wants them off. The minute the last one lands on her plush rug, I take her legs and raise them onto the sofa. She slides back a little then I start rubbing her feet.

“Are you okay, baby?”

“God, I am now,” she sighs. “Your hands; they feel so good. Mm.”

“Good. You can relax and let me know what’s up.”

I concentrate on one foot at a time, kneading my thumbs in her arches. Her eyes roll then her head falls back on the sofa.

“Mm. It’s just my momma,” she begins. “Since she called about Kym being pregnant, we haven’t really talked. She has been calling but I honestly don’t have it in me to talk to her. You know how I am feeling.”

“I do, baby. I know.”

“Well, shit got worse today. She called my office phone and said she needed to see me. I asked if it had anything to do with Kym and she told me no. So like a fool, I went over there during lunch. Once again, she proved to me that my feelings don’t fucking matter. It was about Kym and my momma was actually trying to set us up to meet. I just… I’m sick of her not acknowledging my fucking feelings. She has two daughters, not one.” She sighs then her entire beautiful face frowns, causing the muscles in my chest to flex. “I’m a grown ass woman with my shit seemingly together. Why does this shit bother me so bad?”

“Because hurt is hurt. It doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, or what the fuck you have. When someone you love hurts you, especially a parent, it’s natural to feel like you do,” I assure her. “Baby, your feelings are legit.”

“I’m just so fucked up. My sister is married to my ex-husband and my momma doesn’t see anything wrong with that. Shit, I’m real fucked up. You need to run now before you get in too deep with me. Apparently, I’m not lovable,” she has the nerve to say. My hands stop massaging her feet and she raises up. “You’re done?”

“Nah but I need to make some shit clear,” I say, lifting her legs and easing to my knees. We’re eye to eye so she can clearly see my face as I say my next words. She sits all the way up and drops her feet to the floor. After resting my hands on her thighs, I lean in a little closer. “I’m not running no fucking where. If you are here, I’m here. I’m with you, already deep as hell. If I’m being honest, I was deep the minute I saw you standing at the bar with Alex when I first walked into Quintus and Sis’s dinner. You hadn’t even seen me but I saw you. I saw all of you and just knew…you were mine and a nigga hadn’t even said a word to you. I’m deep as fuck in this with you. You’re lovable, baby. How do you think I fell so damn fast. So stop saying that shit. I love you and I’m not running.”

For a minute, she doesn’t say shit. She doesn’t blink either. Her beautiful eyes just stare into mine. I don’t interrupt nor say shit else. If she needs time to hear and clearly understand my words, I give it to her. It takes her a moment but she leans in and kisses me slowly and sensually as hell.

“Please promise me that you will never break my heart,” she says.

“Breaking yours would break mine. I promise, baby.”

She blesses me with her pretty ass smile then kisses me again. “I love you,” she finally says.

I knew she did.

“And you know I love you,” I tell her.

NINE

Since Alex will be in Vegas for FNF, she wants to meet before she leaves. Unfortunately, Mireya isn’t joining us. Her first trimester is kicking her ass and her morning sickness extends to the afternoon and night. Today has been extra rough, so under Quintus’s orders, she’s sitting this meetup out and staying home to nurse her sour stomach with ginger tea Shuga made.

When Mireya said she wasn’t going to make it, the location moved from the bar in Diablo’s Steakhouse to Alex’s favorite private spot in which she has a minority ownership, Elegance & Ash. I love it here. The ambience, sexy dark lighting, comfortable high back leather chairs and sofas, top shelf drinks, and premium cigars always make for a good ass time.

We are on our first round of drinks and our cigars are being curated from the humidor. I actually like smoking a cigar every once in a while, but my knowledge of them is nonexistent. I rely solely on Alex’s expertise. She picked The Conviction cigars for tonight.

“Now, why The Conviction again? What’s so special about it?” Giselle asks.

“Do you remember the last ones we smoked for my birthday?” Alex asks.