Page 102 of The Quiet After The Fall

It takes me a moment to answer that. I think I’m just shocked that she gives a shit about Sawyer at all.

“She doesn’t hate you.” I think of Sawyer’s face the day she told me she felt guilty for hating Ella, that it wasn’t her that her anger was directed at. “She actually feels for you. More than you’d probably guess.”

“I loved him,” she says after a pause. “I know how that sounds, given everything. But I loved your brother, and some days, I think that’s the only honest piece of me left.”

“I believe you.”

She looks up, surprised. “You do?”

“I’ve seen what it does to someone, loving a person you’re not supposed to.” My chest tightens, thinking of Sawyer. “I’m not in a position to judge you for it.”

The room goes quiet, both of us sitting with the aftermath of our lies. For the first time in months, I feel relaxed around Ella, like we’re actually able to talk instead of slinging shit disguised as honesty.

“What did you mean before?” she asks. “When you said it’s complicated with you and Sawyer…besides the obvious.”

I hesitate, weighing how much information I can give her right now versus later. “I need to talk to your father.”

Whatever she expected me to say, that clearly wasn’t it. Her brow furrows. “About what?”

“Business stuff. The partnership between him and my father. That’s all I can really say for now.”

She studies me until I feel my skin prickle, a brow raised like she can read my damn mind, and I remember all over again that she’s smarter than anyone’s given her credit for.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? Something involving my father.”

“Yeah.” I don’t see the point in denying it, not after everything else we’ve already admitted tonight. “Something’s very wrong, Ella. I can’t tell you everything yet, but I promise I will, when it’s safe to.”

“Is my dad in trouble?” Her voice sounds smaller, the anger in it dissipated.

The question catches me off guard, and the realization hits me that she already suspects something about her father, something she’s probably never been able to say out loud.

“I don’t know yet. That’s part of why I need to talk to him.”

She gets up and starts to pace the length of the couch. It’s freaking me out a bit, seeing her anxious this way. Finally, she turns and grabs her phone from the table.

“He’s home tonight. I’ll tell him you’re coming by to discuss the wedding. That’s the only lie I’m giving you, Knox. Whatever happens after that is all you.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t.” She looks up from her phone, chin held high. “I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it because if something’s actually wrong, I want to know. Whatever it is. Especially if it involves my father.”

If only she knew the half of what her father’s into. That’s not my story to tell.

As soon as Vince answers, Ella’s entire demeanor changes. Her voice gets higher, brighter, a persona she’s clearly used her entire life. I’ve known that about her since the day I met her, and for the first time I wonder how much of our time together was the real her.

We’re not that different when I think about it. She’s surviving in a world that expects her to quietly smile, be grateful and never ask for too much, the same way it expects me to be strong, carry everything, and feel nothing.

The perfect daughter with the perfect son.

Fuck that shit.

She ends the call and her voice goes back to normal. “He’s expecting you within the hour.”

“Thank you again, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I caused you pain.”

She shrugs. “At first I felt like it was me, that I wasn’t good enough, but I know that’s not it. Love is pain, and I’d rather hurt than go through life numb.”

Her chin dips and she reaches for the ring on her finger, sliding it off.