Page 14 of The Quiet After The Fall

“Distant,” she finally says, placing her glass back on the table. “I know he’s grieving. I’m trying to give him space but I—” She stops herself and smooths the napkin in her lap. “Sorry. You don’t need to hear about that.”

“No,” I say. “It’s okay. Truly.”

She shakes her head slightly and reaches for her coffee again, changing the subject to a new boutique that’s opening later this month.

That’s when I see her necklace. The chain catches the light first, it’s thin and gold and barely visible above the neckline of her shirt. As she leans forward, it swings free for the briefest moment, the ring hanging from it turns slowly in the stream of sunlight cutting across our table.

A small round diamond. A gold band. Heavy and thick, not made for a woman’s finger.

I know that ring.

I’ve seen it sitting on Owen’s dresser. Seen him wear it to homecoming, to graduation, to every night that mattered to him. His class ring. The one his parents gave him junior year with his name engraved on the inside of the band. I’ve traced the diamond, his birthstone, with my thumb while he slept.

And Ella’s wearing it on a chain around her neck.

What the actual fuck?

My hands shake, but I grip my mug to keep them from ripping the chain from her body. Keep it together. I force the muscles in my face to stay blank, to do exactly what it’s supposed to do. I’m sure something is showing, though. Probably a crinkle between my brows.

Across the restaurant, someone waves at Ella, and she waves back with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, and I sit there, letting the sunlight wash over me, and breathe through it.

I knew it. Something happened between them.

Did she love him? I know what it’s like to love Owen Aldrich. To be loved by him. It’s like being peppered with beautiful gifts that you’re not sure you deserve…and so much warmth and affection and smiles that make you feel like the sun came out specifically for you. Like you could finally exhale after holding your breath for days.

He was good at surface level love. I know that now. Love that was visible. What happened inside and underneath. All the pieces he kept quiet and compartmentalized. The kind of love that has you ripping yourself open and exposing your soul. The kind that costs something, that leaves scars. That was never Owen. I don’t think he knew how to give love that deeply. Maybe not to me anyway.

Maybe not to anyone.

I look at the chain around her neck again.

Or maybe I just wasn’t the right person to pull it out of him.

I set my mug down and look hard at Ella. Take in the parts of her I’ve overlooked.

She picks up a slice of brioche and tears a piece off, popping it into her mouth. I make a decision I might regret later.

“Can I ask you something?” I say.

She looks up. “Of course.”

“How are you really doing? With everything.” I pause, letting it sit. “Losing Owen was…” I watch her face carefully. “It was a lot for all of us.”

Her throat moves and she reaches for her glass, almost knocking it over.

“It was,” she says.

She’s being extremely careful with her words for someone who was just babbling on minutes ago.

“He was such a good person. It’s rare to find people like him.”

“Yeah.” Her fingers find the chain at her neckline without her seeming to realize it, pressing the ring against her chest through the fabric of her shirt.

We go quiet, but I’m still watching her closely.

Outside a cloud moves across the sun and the restaurant dims, the green of all those trailing plants going darker for a moment before the light comes back. Ella blinks like she’s awakening from a daze and reaches for her bread.

“Sorry,” she says. “I just—” She stops and shakes her head. “He was important to a lot of people. And I-I guess I haven’t been able to talk about him much.”