Page 24 of The Quiet After The Fall

He’s avoiding eye contact, flipping the AirPod case over in his hand, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to read him. “What does that mean?”

“It means exactly what I said.”

“If you brought me into this conversation to talk in circles I will take those back and put them in my ears and you won’t hear another word from me for the rest of this ride.”

His eyes search my face and he sets the AirPod case on his knee. “It’s arranged. The engagement is arranged.” He says it quietly, almost like he’s afraid to let the words out. “Our families…it’s a business arrangement. I didn’t—” He clenches his jaw. “I didn’t have a choice.”

I stare at him. There’s no way. This can’t be⁠—

“Ella doesn’t know,” he adds. “She thinks it’s real.”

The train rocks and I look down at my purse in my lap, trying to process this. “Who else knows?”

“My parents. Her father.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

I sit with that for a moment, not knowing what to think. The Hudson is gone now, replaced by the backs of buildings, lit windows, other people’s lives rolling past in the dark.

“Why?”

He looks tortured. “I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t, Sawyer. Trust me.”

I close my eyes and a puff of air escapes my nose. Trust him? Like it’s easy. Like he didn’t break my heart for years.

“Why are you even telling me any of this?”

His jaw works while he lets my question sink in. “Because you deserve to know that much.”

“But not the rest?”

He holds my gaze. “Not yet.”

“So you’re going to marry her then? For whatever the hell reason you can’t or won’t tell me?”

He stays quiet so I go on. I might as well get it all out now.

“And what about us? You think I’m just going to be the other woman while she gets it all?”

“No—”

“Because I won’t. I respect her too much even though I shouldn’t. And speaking of Ella. You never told me. Did you know? About her and Owen?”

He’s quiet for a beat too long.

“Knox?”

“I suspected.” He’s looking at the floor. “I didn’t know for sure. ”

“The texts?”

“And the ring. After you told me about it, I looked and you were right.” He stops to breathe. To think. I can tell he’s angry or upset or both. “I didn’t want it to be true.”