Page 71 of The Quiet After The Fall

He turns on his side, shifting me along with him so we’re face to face. The way he’s looking at me like I’m the only thing to exist in this universe…God, it’s hard to breathe.

“Back at school, I had a buddy who was pledging and wanted me to join him. I didn’t really want to but I figured what the hell. Why not take part in the idiocy? See what it was all about.”

“Why do I feel like this is going to gross me out?”

He smirks. “Nah, I’ll keep those to myself.”

“Oh, God.”

His fingers find the curve of my waist and drag along the skin there. “My buddy was a smaller guy, around five-seven, and they thought it would be hilarious if we traded clothes and wore them all day…to classes and everything, then to a party that night.”

“I have so many questions,” I say, holding back a laugh. “Did you do it?”

He nods, a solemn expression on his face. “And I’m convinced those hours of ball squishage may have caused permanent damage.”

“You’re so dumb.”

He finally laughs, and rolls onto his back, taking me with him so I’m straddling him.

I brace my hands on his chest to steady myself and look at him. Take all of him in like I haven’t been able to in a long time, not like this, not happy. The sun catches the water still clinging to his hair and he’s smiling up at me like this is the only place he wants to be. Not with his family, not with Ella. Just me.

It terrifies me how much I want to believe that.

“I better move or things might get too racy for the beach.” I’m teasing but I know if I were to move down a few inches, I’d feel him getting hard again. “Tell me another story, dummy.”

“Your dummy,” he says, holding my waist like an anchor. “For today anyway.”

I know he means it as a joke. A throwaway comment to keep the mood light, but it hits deep. For today. I should be bracing myself for the pain, guarding my heart. I’m a fool.

A fool who knows how to compartmentalize.

I lean down, resting my cheek on his chest, breathing him in. If I close my eyes, I can pretend nothing’s changed. That the world isn’t trying to ruin what could be. Or maybe not the world, maybe it’s just us being our own executioners.

“Tell me another,” I say.

His chest vibrates under my cheek as he lets out another low laugh. He wraps his arm around me, holding me close. “Okay, so this one involves a 7-Eleven, a bucket, and an electric scooter.”

I groan at the absurdity but it quickly turns into laughter as he goes into the story. I’ll let myself enjoy this a little longer. His hands, the sunshine, his smile when he knows he’s made me laugh, this place.

It won’t last. I know.

But today, it’s mine. And for a few more hours, so is he.

Chapter 18

Knox

Idon’t want to move from where I’m parked. Sawyer’s taillights disappeared around the bend over ten minutes ago. She insisted she had to get back to Ashford for work tomorrow and no amount of coaxing could get her to stay another night.

My engine’s running, there’s nothing to look at except a light that changes from red to green every few minutes, and I can’t pretend she’s going to change her mind and come back.

I look down at my phone in the cupholder. I’ve had it off for twenty-four hours and it’s been fucking incredible. Now the thing feels like a powder keg.

I’m not a damn pussy, I can face the music. It just sucks ass.

I turn it on and it buzzes for a few minutes straight. My stomach drops when I see how many times Ella called and texted me. At least five missed calls and something like fifteen missed texts in a row.

Ella: hey call me when you can