Page 112 of Josephine and Clay

I tell myself I’m only being prepared. Situational awareness. Perfectly reasonable.

I do see Rose near the edge of the dance floor, laughing as Wyatt stomps around on Boone’s boots while Ellie claps along. Faith is talking animatedly to Jessie Alvarez by the refreshments. Tessa sits nearby with baby Hailey tucked against her chest.

The McCoys seem woven into the entire event.

They don’t just attend things around here. They anchor them.

Penny follows my gaze. “They’re a lot, huh?”

“Yes.”

“In a good way?”

I take another sip of lemonade. “In an intimidating way.”

“Same thing around here.”

I watch Tessa smile down at her baby and have to look away after a second.

There’s something dangerous about seeing happiness this close up when I still have no idea what mine is supposed to look like.

“They all seem so connected,” I say quietly. “Do you think they’ll hate me? When they find out, I mean.”

There’s a strange kind of gravity around them. The sort of family that notices when someone’s missing from the table. The sort that probably survives things together.

I don’t know what to do with families like that.

“No,” she says immediately. “No, Josie. They wouldn’t hate you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know enough.”

“I barely know them. Clay barely knows me.”

“That doesn’t mean⁠—”

“It means something.” My tone drops. “This isn’t a small thing, Penny. It’s not a misunderstanding or a rumor or one of Clara’s matchmaking schemes. It’s two babies. His babies. Their family.”

Penny’s hand tightens around her cup.

I force myself to breathe. “I can handle them being angry,” I say, though I’m not sure that’s true. “I can handle judgment. What I can’t handle is needing them to be kind and finding out they aren’t.”

Penny says, “That sounds like the kind of thing a person says when she’s used to people disappointing her.”

I look away.

The band shifts into a slower song. Couples adjust, laughter softening as the rhythm changes.

“I’m not trying to be dramatic,” I say.

“I know.”

“I just need to be smart.”

“You are smart.”

“I need to be prepared.”