Page 47 of A Thread of Breath and Bone

Tension and fear wrap around my lungs, squeezing. “What did you do?” I whisper. I don’t know if I want the answer, but I need it. I already have an idea.

It’s my mother who says, “We blocked your memories.” She looks between Ryker and me. Ryker settles into the chair, an ankle propped up on his knee, his chin resting on a fist.

My father says, “We had too. King Aki was terrified and—” Shame fills his features. “It was wrong. We thought that once you were old enough, if the Bond was truly there, you’d find a way. So we kept you apart.”

A single tear streaks down my face as a horrified gasp escapes. “How could you?”

Ryker’s hand settles on my shoulder. “It’s okay.” He grabs my hand, lifting it to his mouth and places a soft kiss.

I shake my head. “What if we didn’t?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mother wiping away a tear.

“I’m sorry. To both of you,” my father says softly.

I sit there stunned for a long minute. I feel so betrayed. First by my best friend, now by my own parents. What if Ryker and I hadn’t ended up crossing paths? What if he hadn’t pushed so hard to be around me, slowly working himself into my very soul? Would he have Bonded with someone else?

My thoughts spiral even though I know, deep down, I know the truth is he has always been mine. Lumos Bond or not, it wouldn’t have mattered. No amount of time or distance would have prevented the inevitable.

Right?

A strange sense of loss settles over me while I feel the weight of all that could have been. I could have had him in my life, nurturing our Bond, our friendship, this entire time. I could have had years to love him.

The air in the room turns brittle as my magic spikes. “You stole pieces of my soul to keep your political peace?” I whisper, the gold in my eyes flaring.

My father doesn't look away, but my mother’s tears are a confession. They didn't just keep us apart—they tried to rewrite who we were.

“I want my memories back,” I grind out.

“They will come back, dear. After your Bonding Ceremony,” my mother says.

I want to yell at them about there being no Bonding Ceremony when Ryker squeezes my hand, drawing my attention to him. “What’s done is done. Your anger is justified, but love, I’m here even without the memories.”

More tears flood my eyes as my throat burns with emotion. Anger has always been my biggest vice, and right now, he’s right. I don’t want to say things I don’t mean out of anger and hurt, especially not with the war looming over us.

“Anything else?” Ryker asks my parents.

My father stands, hovering over his chair. “With all that has transpired, I believe we need to move your Ceremony up yet again.” He glances past us, like he’s looking to the future. Then his gaze settles on me, and I see the regret and apology. “Your mother and I would like to host the Ceremony in two weeks. The war has brought a restlessness, and we need to get this out of the way. Prince Anders, I believe that gives you time to go home and get your affairs in order.”

Ryker nods while I hold my father’s gaze, a single tear escaping along with the rest of my anger.

My father must see it because he says, “Raea, my dear, once you two are Bonded, we will still need to have your wedding. Normally, the wedding would be a month later, but I don’t see the point in waiting, do you?”

“What if it doesn’t work?” I ask, voicing what I already know to be true.

My father offers me a small smile. “Optics, Raea. Like I said before, we already know how this both ends. And Elison has filled me in on all I need to know.”

I really wish my father would at least act like this is a big deal. He’s so nonchalant about the whole thing, which is so unlike him. He’s right, though. There is no point in waiting.

Ryker turns his head to me, waiting for my response. I clear my throat, shoving down the rest of my emotion to deal with later. “Yes, that’s fine. So the Ceremony and wedding are in the same week?” I clear my throat again.

Ryker takes my hand, interlacing my fingers with his, and I calm.

“Anders, do you think your mother is able to travel right now?” my mother asks.

“She will be elated and wouldn’t miss it. But, may I ask something?”

“Of course,” my mother responds.