Page 33 of Hot Under the Collar

The water was colder than it had any right to be, but not cold enough to drown out his thoughts. Every image replayed in pieces: the arch of her back, the hint of lace, the casualness of it all. He braced his hands on the tile and let the spray hit his face until his lungs steadied.

Jesus. He was hard as a rock, just because she’d been comfortable enough to change in front of him.

You’re her friend, he reminded himself. Her safe place. Safe places don’t wonder what it would be like to touch that lace.

The water stayed cold, and so did he. But his thoughts wouldn’t stop pulsing with everything he’d just seen—and everything he knew he couldn’t want.

When he finally shut off the tap, his breath came out in visible puffs against the chill. The mirror hung there, sharp and unforgiving. He dried off, dressed, and stepped quietly past her closed bedroom door into the living room.

Lynne had laid out fresh blankets on the couch, Fred already tucked in a warm heap at the center. She hadn’t changed her mind about him staying. That counted for something.

The thin strip of light under Lynne’s bedroom door blinked off. The apartment went still. Leo sank onto the couch, staring at the ceiling until the patterns blurred into shadows. The hum of the heat clicked on, soft and steady. Beyond the wall, Lynne was somewhere in the dark—breathing, sleeping, entirely out of reach.

Temporary. That’s all this was. The kittens nursing, her legs across his lap, their elbows brushing at the sink. She’d wake up one morning not needing him here at all. Back to book club on Thursdays. Birthday drinks if he was lucky.

Leo tugged the blanket under his chin. Sleep wouldn’t come easily for him tonight. Not after glimpsing what his life would be like beside hers. Not now that his brain wouldn’t let it go.

14

Leo (Then)

It was nearing midnight on Halloween as Leo paced in front of the open bay doors of the fire station. He watched as all of Autumn Ridge began shutting down. Only the streetlights along Main and the orange glow from the park remained. He couldn’t see O’Donnell’s from here, but he wondered what Lynne was doing right now. Probably wiping down the counter while Ruby ushered everyone out. Probably telling her dad to head up for bed and leave the rest to her.

For some reason, back when he was twenty-one, he thought he’d always spend his birthday at O’Donnell’s. Even his twenty-fourth. But tonight was the first working birthday, and while it wasn’t all bad, it wasn’t O’Donnell’s. No shots. No bad jukebox music. No glances from across the room. The crew tried to make the most of it for him. Dressed up in costumes, celebrated with cake and candles, signed a card. They even gave him candy duty, which was normally something Chief Bob gave to the senior crew members while the rest stayed ready for action. It wasn’t unheard of for an out-of-hand bonfire or open flame to keep them busy on Halloween. Autumn Ridge had been eerily calm tonight, though.

Then he heard some footsteps behind him.

“Hey, kid,” Chief Bob said. “They’re gonna start a movie. Wanna join? No guarantees, but this is usually the part of the Halloween shift where it gets real quiet.”

Leo waved. “Sure. I’ll be up in a few. Just need a few more minutes out here.”

“Take your time, birthday boy. Just don’t be surprised if Tracey steals another chocolate bar out of your stash while you do.”

Leo grinned. “If by ‘Tracey’ you mean you again, chief, it’s okay. You can have another.”

“Thank God,” Bob huffed under his breath. “You know I’ve got a weakness for that shit. See you inside, kid.”

The Main Street clock chimed twelve times in the distance, and the full moon slipped behind a cluster of clouds. Leo felt an ache grow in his chest. Something he couldn’t put a name to.

Then his phone vibrated in his pocket. Another birthday message, like he’d been getting all day and night long. But this time, it was Lynne. She remembered.

Did you seriously ditch your own birthday? she asked.

The corner of Leo’s mouth pulled into a smile as he typed out Working at the station.

Unacceptable. She sent a frowning face. What are we gonna do with all these maraschino cherries?!

He let out a little huffing laugh. I guess you’ll have to save them for next year.

Lynne replied quickly with Gross.

Leo pivoted to join the crew for movie time, thinking that would be it. But Lynne kept bringing his phone back to life every few minutes. Asking if they’d been out for a bunch of calls and what else he’d done that night. Complaining about glitter and the sticky floors. Sending a photo of her dad waving ‘hi.’

He realized he missed being there more than he thought.

When the movie ended and everyone went off to do their own thing, Leo noticed it was past 2 a.m. The awareness that she was still with Andrew hummed in the back of his brain. Were they living together these days? Had Andrew been sleeping next to her the entire time they chatted? He doubted it. But he also couldn’t help but enjoy this private thread with her, however fleeting.

Aren’t I keeping you up? he messaged reluctantly.