Page 26 of Big D!ck Energy

In twelve hours, I was supposed to be heading out on the town with Brooke for her Bachelorette party.

“Shit, Dallas,” I scowled. His eyes locked on mine. “We hijacked our best friend's wedding weekend.”

“Shit,” he mumbled, shoving a hand through his hair, though the corner of his mouth twitched. “We did, didn't we? Talk about stealing thunder.”

“They cannot know about this.”

“Agreed. Though I have to say,” he added with a grin, “their wedding is going to seem pretty tame after ours. Not many people can say they were married by The King himself.”

“Why are you not freaking out right now? You're the one who doesn't believe in marriage.”

He shrugged, that amused smile never leaving his face. “It could always be worse.”

“How could it possibly be worse?” I threw up my hands.

“Well,” he said, thoughtfully, “we could have gotten matching tattoos. Or adopted a tiger. Or livestreamed the whole thing.” He paused, eyes widening in mock horror. “We didn't livestream it, did we?”

My lips twitched at the mental image.

Dallas cleared his throat. “So, uh. Breakfast, Mrs. Dodger?”

I blinked at him. “What?”

“We should probably eat and try to soak up some of the alcohol. We can figure out our next move after.” He gestured vaguely at the room service cart. “I'm pretty sure we already ordered. Multiple times.”

The corner of my lip tugged into a half smile. “Is that a waffle on the floor?”

“I think it's a Belgian waffle,” he said seriously, though his eyes danced with laughter. “The chocolate chips are a dead giveaway. I clearly wanted only the best for my bride.”

And just like that, I laughed. It was either that or cry, and I'd already decided crying was not on today's agenda. He smiled too, looking entirely too pleased with himself for making me laugh.

“Okay,” I said. “Breakfast. Then we figure out how to undo the biggest mistake of our lives.”

“Second biggest,” Dallas corrected, picking up the waffle and examining it. “The biggest was clearly whatever happened after breakfast yesterday that resulted in...” He gestured vaguely at the ceiling fan, grinning wickedly. “...that.”

I followed his gaze to where my bra still hung, spinning slowly.

“We're never speaking of this again,” I said firmly.

“Whatever you say, wifey,” he replied with a wink.

CHAPTER 9

THE ACCIDENTAL MARRIAGE AGREEMENT

DALLAS

I held up my hand against the morning light streaming through the curtains, examining the foreign object that had taken residence on my finger overnight. A thick gold band with a diamond that caught the light and sent tiny rainbows dancing across the hotel room's eggshell walls.

“When did I become a jewelry person?” I muttered, wiggling my fingers. The ring felt oddly like a tiny golden handcuff.

I never wanted to get married. Marriage was a trap, an institution designed to make free-spirited people miserable. And yet... I kind of liked the ring, and even more disturbingly, I didn't completely hate the bride.

The bathroom door flew open, releasing a cloud of steam and the scent of hotel shampoo. Davina emerged, already dressed in dark jeans and a white shirt.

“Okay,” she announced, dropping into the chair across from me at the small round table. “We need to figure out where to go to get this annulled. Do you think we need lawyers? Or can we just show up somewhere with our Vegas mistake and say 'please delete'?” She reached for her plate of Belgian waffles, stabbing one. “We don't have much time today before someone starts questioning where we are. After a while, everyone will notice we're both missing.”

I pushed my eggs around my plate, an idea forming in my mind. “Unless we don't.”