Page 103 of Certified to Handle You 3

Every man on the sidewalk had my attention. I kept lookin’ at people walkin’ near the stores, people crossin’ the street and anybody standin’ near the beach entrances. The driver asked me once if I wanted him to keep goin’ straight, and I told him yes without takin’ my eyes off the window.

My nerves was tore the fuck up. The icee was still in my hand, meltin’ around the straw, and I finally sat it in the cup holder ‘cause I couldn’t hold on to it and my purse while keepin’ my face damn near against the glass.

I kept seein’ that lil’ glimpse of the man in my head from the side of his face to the way he moved and more than anything, that voice.

I leaned back for a second and covered my face with my hands before draggin’ them down slow.

I had been on this island for four days, and I knew I had been thinkin’ about Renza almost every minute since I got here. Maybe I was finally drivin’ myself crazy. Maybe I wanted to find him so bad that my mind had started fillin’ in whatever I couldn’t see clear enough.

Then that voice played through my head again, and I sat forward.

“Nah,” I whispered.

The driver looked at me through the mirror, but I ain’t explain myself.

I turned back toward the window and watched the island pass by while my stomach stayed twisted in a knot.

If that really was Renza, I had been standin’ close enough to hear him talk. After all them flights, all that money, all these days ridin’ around Amiri with no clue where to even start, I might’ve finally been close enough to reach out and touch the man I came all this way for.

I just needed one more look…

That was all I needed…

If I could see his face clear, I would know…

I leaned closer to the window again as the cab moved toward the beach, and my eyes went over every person we passed. I ain’t care how crazy I looked no more ‘cause somethin’ in my gut would not let me brush off what just happened.

I knew Renza’s voice…

I knew that man…

And unless four days in Amiri had finally made me lose my damn mind, I could’ve sworn I had just seen him…

Amiri

I had been in Amiri for damn near two weeks and I could finally admit I was ready to get my ass back home.

The island had been everything I needed when I first got here, and I ain’t regret comin’ at all.

I needed somewhere that wasn’t Trill-Land for a minute. I needed to wake up without knowin’ every street, every face and every place I drove past.

Out here, nobody knew me unless I introduced myself, and most of the time I ain’t even feel like doin’ that. I could wake up, smoke, eat, ride around or sit by the water without nobody askin’ me where I was headed or what I had planned for later. That shit had been good for me, especially after spendin’ so much time back home with my mind runnin’ a hundred miles a minute.

Amiri had been peaceful as hell too.

Everybody I came across was cool, and even the people workin’ at the restaurants and lil’ spots around the island treated me like they had known me longer than five minutes.

The food had been hittin’ every damn time I sat down somewhere. I had ate seafood damn near every way a nigga could make it, tried shit I probably never would’ve ordered back home and found a couple places I went back to more than once ‘cause I already knew they wasn’t gon’ disappoint me.

Even the strip I had just left had been laid-back. I walked around for a while, grabbed somethin’ to eat and talked to one of the older niggas workin’ at a shop before I finally got back in the rental.

Still, it wasn’t shit like Trill-Land…

I realized that over these last couple days. Amiri was nice as fuck, but home was home.

I missed pullin’ up on Kay’Lo without callin’ first and hearin’ that nigga start talkin’ shit soon as I walked through the door. I missed Pressure and all his annoyin’ ass comments he would throw out when everybody else was talkin’. I missed seein’ my family whenever I wanted to, and I missed sleepin’ in my own bed. I needed to get away, but I wasn’t runnin’ from home forever just ‘cause life got heavy for a minute.

I pulled away from the strip in the black truck I rented when I first got here and let the windows stay down while I drove. The breeze felt good comin’ through, and I had my arm restin’ near the window with a blunt between my fingers.