Page 31 of Certified to Handle You 3

Renza had taste that ain’t know how to sit down. He would’ve looked around this same house and said somethin’ slick about the rooms bein’ too small or the backyard needin’ more land, and the fact that I could hear his voice in my head while standin’ beside my fiancé made my stomach turn.

I blinked and looked back at the yard, tryna push him out of my mind.

Couture touched my hand. “You good?”

I turned to him and smiled. “Yeah.”

We went upstairs next. The main bedroom was a nice size with windows facin’ the backyard, and the bathroom had a double sink, a glass shower and a tub sittin’ under the window. The closet wasn’t huge, but it was bigger than what Couture had at his apartment, and I could tell he liked that.

The other two bedrooms was empty and clean with one facin’ the front of the house and the other facin’ the side yard.

Ms. Ro’Chelle talked about guest rooms, future kids and office space in that sweet realtor voice, and every word she said made the walls feel like they was closin’ in around me even though the house had plenty room.

I kept noddin’ and touchin’ things like I was fully present. I ran my fingers over the bathroom counter, looked inside the closet, peeked out the bedroom window and smiled when I was supposed to. The house really was beautiful, and that made me feel worse. It would’ve been easier if somethin’ was wrong with it. It would’ve been easier if I could say the kitchen was ugly, the rooms felt small, the neighborhood looked off or the price sounded crazy. But none of that was true.

The truth was that Couture had picked a good house…

The truth was also that my heart started runnin’ the second I realized he had been thinkin’ this far ahead.

When we came back downstairs, Ms. Ro’Chelle gave us a few details about the neighborhood and said she would step outside so we could talk. I smiled and thanked her, then watched her walk out the front door before I turned back to Couture.

He was already lookin’ at me.

“You don’t like it, do you?” he asked.

I squeezed his hand. “I do like it.”

His eyebrow lifted a lil’. “You sure?”

“Yes, Couture. It’s nice. I just ain’t know you was lookin’ at houses already.”

He looked around the livin’ room, then back at me. “We gettin’ married, Sha’Nelle.”

I stared at him and nodded. “I know.”

“So I been thinkin’,” he said, his voice calm. “I don’t want us startin’ a marriage cramped up in that one-bedroom apartment. I’m outgrowin’ it anyway, and if we gon’ do this, I want us to have somewhere to come home to. Somewhere that feel like ours.”

I stared up at him, and for a second, I ain’t know what to say. He was standin’ here tellin’ me what he wanted with me, and that should’ve made me feel safe. A part of me did feel somethin’. I felt cared about. I felt seen in the way a woman feels when a man ain’t just talkin’ marriage but actually makin’ moves toward it.

But another part of me felt sick…

I hated that both could be true at the same time.

Couture stepped closer and took both of my hands. “I ain’t sayin’ we gotta put in an offer today. I just wanted you to see it.”

“It’s beautiful,” I said.

“You can tell me if you don’t like somethin’.”

“I’m tellin’ you I like it,” I said, and I leaned into him a lil’ so it wouldn’t sound empty. “I’m just surprised.”

His face softened some, and he rubbed his thumb over my ring finger. “I wanted to surprise you.”

I laughed and replied, “and you did.”

He smiled, and I smiled back ‘cause I couldn’t stand here lookin’ like my whole insides was fightin’ each other.

Couture leaned down and kissed me, and I let my hands move up his chest while his arms went around my waist. His mouth was warm, and the kiss felt good in a way that made me want to stop thinkin’. I kissed him back and let my eyes close, tryna hold on to the part of me that wanted this to be simple.