Page 60 of Certified to Handle You 3

“I know,” I whispered. “And I’m sorry.”

He looked at me, and I rubbed my thumb along the side of his neck while stayin’ right here on his lap.

“I love you, Kay’Lo. I’m not gon’ keep botherin’ you tonight, but I needed you to know that.”

His eyes moved over my face, and for a second, I thought he was gon’ keep givin’ me that cold silence. Then he leaned in and kissed me once. It was soft but quick, like he ain’t want me gettin’ too comfortable yet.

“I love you too, baby,” he said before kissin’ the side of my neck then my lips. “But don’t think this mean you off punishment.”

I swallowed and nodded, even though my heart was still achin’. “I know, baby.”

Kay’Lo picked up one of My’Love’s lil’ shirts and went back to foldin’ her clothes with me still sittin’ on his lap, and even though he was still mad, I stayed right here with my face close to his neck.

I ain’t say nothin’ else. I just let him feel me close, ‘cause with a man like Kay’Lo Mensah, sometimes beggin’ wasn’t always words. Sometimes it was knowin’ when to sit yo’ ass down, soften up and remind him you still belonged to him.

While I stayed in his lap, every now and then, his arm would shift behind me or his hand would touch my hip when he needed to reach around me for another shirt or pair of socks, and I took every piece of that like I had been starvin’ for it.

That was the part I hated the most about us bein’ like this. I missed him while sittin’ on him. I missed him while smellin’ him, touchin’ him and feelin’ his chest move under my hand. Kay’Lo was right here, but he had pulled enough of himself back for me to feel the empty space, and I couldn’t even act like I ain’t know how we got here.

Then the baby situation was sittin’ under all of it, makin’ everything heavier.

Me and Kay’Lo was supposed to be makin’ another baby. We had been talkin’ about it, touchin’ on each other like we was ready for it and movin’ around this house like My’Love was about to have a lil’ brother or sister soon. I had let myself get happy about that. I let myself picture my stomach growin’ again, My’Love kissin’ on it, Kay’Lo rubbin’ oil into my skin at night and fussin’ at everybody not to stress me out like he wasn’t the main person who could get on my nerves. Then he put it on hold, and when he first said it, I swear that shit hurt so bad I ain’t even know where to put my face. But I understood him.

I ain’t tell him that right away ‘cause I was hurt, and when I’m hurt, my mouth don’t always move with the sense God gave me. But I knew what he meant when he said he ain’t wanna bring another baby into tension.

When I was pregnant with My’Love, we had too much around us.

Kay’Lo remembered that, and he wasn’t tryna repeat it just ‘cause we wanted another child. He wanted peace around me this time. He wanted us solid, not just horny, just emotional and not just caught up in the idea of a baby while we still had shit sittin’ between us. I loved him for thinkin’ like that, even while it made me feel some type of way.

Kay’Lo finished foldin’ the last outfit and sat it on top of the stack beside him. I watched his hands move over the clothes, smoothin’ everything down like he couldn’t help but make sure My’Love things was right. He reached for his glass off the floor and took another sip, then leaned forward like he was about to stand.

I slid my hand down his chest. “You done?”

“Yeah,” he said.

He stood with me still close to him. I moved off his lap before he could get up all the way. I took his glass and my hand closed around it over his, and for a few seconds we just stayed like this, both of us holdin’ it while I stood between his legs.

His eyes dropped to our hands first, then lifted to my face. That look made my stomach flip ‘cause he wasn’t cold right now. He was still feelin’ some type of way, but he was lookin’ at me like he missed me too and just wasn’t ready to make it too easy, ‘cause he was stubborn as hell.

I leaned in and kissed him soft, barely pressin’ my mouth to his at first. His lips moved against mine once, then again and when I pulled back, they almost stuck to mine like neither one of us really wanted the kiss to end.

“I miss you so much, baby,” I whispered.

Kay’Lo looked down at me, his eyes low and calm, but I could see he felt that. He swallowed, and his hand came to the back of my waist, holdin’ me without pullin’ me all the way in.

“I miss you too, baby,” he said.

That made my chest hurt worse, so I kissed him again.

This time, I let it last a lil’ longer. I kissed his top lip, then his bottom one, slow enough to feel the liquor still on his mouth. Kay’Lo let me have it, but he ain’t chase me yet, and that made me want him even more. I stood here with my hand on the side of his neck, kissin’ him like I was tryna get back into the place he had been keepin’ from me all week.

His hands moved from my waist and his fingers tightened against the bottom of my ass.

His grip had me pressin’ closer before I could stop myself. I was still standin’ between his legs, and the way he looked down at me made me feel like he knew exactly what he was doin’ by not givin’ me too much too fast.

I kissed him again and brushed my thumb along his neck. “I hate when you act like you don’t want me.”

His eyes stayed on mine. “I never said I ain’t want you.”