Page 92 of Certified to Handle You 3

“I’m finna get this lil’ girl in the house before she start actin’ crazy,” he said.

“She already act crazy. That’s yo’ child.”

Kay’Lo smirked before he looked down at My’Love. “Tell ya cousin bye.”

I watched her look at the screen and wave her hand after Kay’Lo helped her get it started.

“Bye, ‘Lo’Lo. Love you,” I told her.

Kay’Lo pulled the phone back toward himself. “I’mma hit you tomorrow.”

“A’ight.”

“Love you, nigga.”

“Love you too.”

We got off the phone, and I set mine back on the table before finishin’ the rest of my blunt. The water was darker now, and lights had started comin’ on around the villas further down the shoreline.

I sat here for a while without music playin’ or the TV on inside. I had got used to the sound of the water bein’ enough.

When the blunt got down too low to keep smokin’, I put it out and reached for my drink. That was when my eyes landed on the box again.

I had been movin’ that muthafufka around the villa since I got here. Some days it stayed inside my bag. Other days I left it in the room, then somehow ended up bringin’ it outside with me. I ain’t know why I kept fuckin’ with it when I wasn’t no closer to knowin’ what I wanted to do with the ring inside.

I picked the box up and turned it around in my hand before openin’ it.

The blue diamond caught what lil’ light was left outside, and I stared at it without touchin’ it. I had spent too much fuckin’ money on this ring to act like throwin’ it away wouldn’t bother me, but lately I had been thinkin’ about gettin’ rid of it anyway.

Sellin’ it sounded stupid when I ain’t need the money. Throwin’ the shit somewhere sounded even dumber after what I paid for it. Takin’ it back home just meant puttin’ it in the safe again and knowin’ it was there. None of those choices felt right.

I closed the box and left my hand on top of it while I looked back toward the water.

Amiri had helped more than I thought it would. I wasn’t wakin’ up on edge no more, and I ain’t feel like I could barely breathe when my mind got too quiet. I could eat without havin’ to remind myself, sleep through the night and go hours without thinkin’ about nothin’ that happened back home.

Sha’Nelle still felt close, though…

I ain’t have to sit around obsessin’ over her for that to be true either. Her name could go unthought of all day, and then I would look at this damn box and feel everything I had been tryna sort through sittin’ right here with me again.

I ran my hand down my face and leaned back in the chair. For a second, I thought about openin’ the box again, but there wasn’t shit inside it I ain’t already seen.

Maybe I needed to get rid of the ring. I just ain’t know if I was ready to do that yet.

I left the box on the table, picked up my drink and looked back out at the water. I came to Amiri to clear my head, and for the first time in a minute, I could finally feel myself gettin’ there. I wasn’t finna force an answer out myself tonight just ‘cause this ring was sittin’ in front of me.

I could give myself another week or two. Maybe by then, I would know what the fuck I wanted to do with it.

Amiri

Yesterday mornin’ I made it to Amiri, and even after the plane landed, I sat there for a minute with my forehead against the window ‘cause I still couldn’t believe I had really did this shit.

I really sat my crazy ass up here, packed a suitcase, spent damn near all the money I had to myself and crossed all that water behind a man who ain’t even know I was comin’.

Renza ain’t know I was on the island lookin’ for him. He ain’t know Toni had told me where he went, and he damn sure ain’t know I had been sittin’ on that plane the whole way here with my stomach twisted up every time I thought about finally seein’ him again.

By the time I got off the plane and made my way through the airport, I was tired enough that all I wanted was to get to my hotel.

I grabbed my suitcase once it came around, pulled the handle up and followed everybody else toward the front.