Page 135 of Demons Dig Donuts

“Indy.” Mr. Heiss grabbed Indy’s wrist, staring at his hand. “Why are you coughing up blood?”

“That’s clearly corn syrup.”

“Indy.”

“I don’t know!” Indy squirmed. “I did get thrown around by a fucking gargoyle, so maybe it has something to do with that?” He licked at his hand to get rid of the blood because he had no idea how else to remove it in a hurry. “Look, Dill checked me out and did some healing. Maybe he just needs to do a little more.” He waved toward the door. “Gammy is right out there, too, and I know she can fix up about anything—”

“I would much rather call a proper healer or a physician.” Mr. Heiss growled.

“And I would much rather have my hole spanked right now, so how about we get on that?”

“Sex is really all you care about?” Mr. Heiss spat with surprising venom.

“Huh?” Indy blinked, scowling as he bit back, “I believe in feeling good as much as fucking possible. What’s wrong with that? I already told you that I’m okay—”

“I shouldn’t be surprised by your base, superficial desires—”

“Wow, and I shouldn’t be surprised that an immortal asshole can’t understand that when life is short, you wanna make the fucking best of it!” Indy snapped, his eyes burning as an unexpected wave of emotions overwhelmed him.

Well, shit.

This was only meant to be a ruse to distract Mr. Heiss from a conversation Indy really did not want to have, but his feelings didn’t know the damn difference.

Mr. Heiss’s words cut deep, and Indy didn’t like it one bit. He shouldn’t care what a demon thought of him and his penchant for physical extracurriculars, but this hurt like hell. He really hated the idea that Mr. Heiss might think Indy only cared about getting laid.

Because it should have been true, but…

It wasn’t now.

“Enjoy every moment like it’s gonna be your fucking last,” Indy ranted on as he let his rage run wild. “Go suck that strange dick. Eat that random pill from the bearded guy in the back of the club. Eat that fucking double bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon. Whatever! Whatever it takes to fucking forget, even if it’s only for a few fucking seconds, that us stupid fleshy flesh bags are all going to die.”

Mr. Heiss paled, and the flames of his crown dimmed.

The silence was miserable, interrupted only by Indy’s frantic pants as he searched Mr. Heiss’s face and waited for a reply. One didn’t seem to be forthcoming, so Indy demanded, “What?”

“I thought you reminded me of someone,” Mr. Heiss said quietly, “but you’re actually nothing like him.”

Indy blinked, his anger diluted by confusion. “Huh? Who?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Uh, it kinda does matter.” Indy glared. “You wanna tell me what the hell your problem is?”

Mr. Heiss closed his eyes and said nothing.

“Oh, the silent treatment! Very mature. Love that. It’s giving asshole! What a surprise! Are you seriously mad that I had a shitty day and just want to get laid? I already told you that I am okay! I swear!” Indy narrowed his eyes. “Or is it all the stuff I said about dying? Because sorry not sorry, that’s the truth.”

Mr. Heiss remained silent.

“Jesus Christ.” Indy groaned loudly. “What’s the point of being alive if you’re not allowing yourself to live?”

That made Mr. Heiss look back to Indy, his eyes opening once more.

“So.” Indy clicked his tongue. “If you’re not gonna fuck me, then I am going to go jerk off, take a shower, and after I help Gammy experiment with drugs and get her to heal whatever is going on with me, I am going to order a shit ton of takeout and watch RuPaul with her.”

“Is that how you really feel?” Mr. Heiss asked quietly.

“What? About the jerking off?”