Page 162 of Demons Dig Donuts

“I’d much rather discuss improper things.”

“I’m sure you would, but this takes priority, I’m afraid. You’ll find that any improper activity will be difficult without a pulse.”

“Touché.” Indy took a big gulp of his drink. “So, what? A new deal? You get my soul and I get my life cheat code back?”

“Yes.” Mr. Heiss rubbed Indy’s arm. “I need a deal to power such a gift. Humans are a bit more complex than doves.”

“I always heard demons weren’t supposed to make deals in Somerstown.”

“Good thing I’m in charge of all the demons then, isn’t it?” Mr. Heiss smirked. “If I have to, I will sort it out with my brothers. You have nothing to be worried about.”

“Uh, excuse you, I have plenty to be worried about.” Indy shook his drink until it refilled once more because the best way to deal with fried nerves was to pickle them. “Let’s say we make a deal. What are the terms? Am I your toy? Your employee? What are you going to ask for? My soul, sure, but there’s a lot of details we gotta discuss too.”

“Of course, and I—”

“What if we break up?” Indy gasped. “Are we even dating? Does signing a deal mean we’re going steady, like, for real? But what if I get tired of you and want to dump you? That could happen.”

“I could also desire to end the relationship.”

“Ha, no. You’d be an idiot to let a snack like me get away.”

Mr. Heiss chuckled, taking a small sip from his glass. “I promise there will be no stipulation in the contract that requires us staying together in any conceivable way. Not as lovers or employer and employee or anything else. You’d be free to move, leave the city, do whatever you’d like.”

Indy noisily slurped his drink as he eyed Mr. Heiss over the rim. “You really want to do this?”

“You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Date me. Not just fucking or plotting for the ring or any other mafia-type shenanigans.”

“As long as I have you, I have access to the ring.”

“Not if I move.”

“That would be quite a loss.” Mr. Heiss smiled smugly. “I am very fond of the leshy.”

Indy scoffed, smacking Mr. Heiss’s arm. “Hey! What about me?”

“You too. I suppose.” Mr. Heiss grinned now and his tail wrapped around Indy’s waist, giving him a fond squeeze.

“I suppose then I won’t be sucking your cock anytime soon.”

“I doubt that sincerely.”

“You’re right. You got me.” Indy let out a dramatic wail. “I can’t help it. I must… suck… dick…!”

Mr. Heiss sighed. “Are you done?”

“For now.” Indy beamed sweetly. He tapped his nails along the side of his glass, and he lowered his voice to note, “You know I’m always going to be annoying.”

“I know.” Mr. Heiss kissed his hair. “As long as you’re aware I will likely continue to be the king of assholes.”

“Yeah, figured that. We can take turns though, remember? Being the asshole.” Indy knocked back the rest of his drink and then placed it on the wooden side table. “So, what if I still wanted to dance?”

“That would be up to you.” Mr. Heiss shrugged. “If you truly enjoy it, I don’t see why I’d stop you. You’re very talented and your performances are always very successful for the club.”

“Okay, what about fucking monsters?”

“I’d hope the only one you’d want to fuck would be me, but I understand if you’ve become accustomed to a variety.” Mr. Heiss chuckled lightly. “Of course, I would insist on a more thorough screening process for your prospective clients. I would hate to murder my fellow monsters, but if they hurt you… Well, Luke is always hungry.”