Page 40 of Demons Dig Donuts

Mr. Heiss arched a brow. “Who is Reginald?”

“Lint bunny golem.”

Mr. Heiss grunted. He cut his eyes to Gammy. “Ingredients. Now.”

“Do you need to write it down?” Gammy asked sweetly. “What? It must be difficult to get everything sorted with the blood of an innocent bunny on your hands!”

Mr. Heiss ignored her anger, asking again, “Ingredients?”

“Fine! Ground pumice, honey, a tiny pinch of salt, and licorice!”

Mr. Heiss paused. “That cannot be for a magical prep spell.”

“No, you’re right! It’s for healing stupid diseases like—”

Indy uttered a croak that sounded like a goose dying.

“—your demonic stank face!”

Indy could breathe again. He felt a little silly for thinking Gammy was going to out his illness, but today had especially sucked so far. His expectations were set pretty low.

Mr. Heiss sighed and glanced at his watch. “We’re going now.”

“Gammy!” Indy hissed. “The real ingredients, please?”

“Right, right.” Gammy cleared her throat. “Turmeric, garlic, salt—”

“Sounds delicious!” King called out.

“—lavender, dragon’s drool, corpse water, and Jubboko sap.”

“Ew. Now it’s rancid.”

Mr. Heiss frowned, but he reached for Indy’s hand. “We’re going now.”

Indy’s traitorous heart fluttered, and he gave Gammy a reassuring smile. “I’ll be okay. I’ll be back before—”

The room vanished and they were standing inside an elevator. Judging by the sheer number of floor buttons, they were in a massive building. Mr. Heiss touched the panel and a new row of buttons materialized. These buttons were fractions, decimals, and one was nothing but a big black dot.

Mr. Heiss pushed a button marked thirty-three point three.

Indy honestly didn’t feel the need to question Mr. Heiss’s lacking manners or the obvious insanity at play here. He’d been in two places already today that were very much not in this universe or dimension or whatever, so this tracked. Also, Mr. Heiss was an asshole, so naturally, that meant him poofing away before Indy could actually say goodbye also tracked.

He was more surprised by the fact that Mr. Heiss was still holding his hand.

Indy’s earrings were gone, which meant Mr. Heiss had figured out how Gammy had tagged along before. Dill wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but Indy was comforted knowing how to summon him now at least. Aodnait was certainly not far off either as long as he kept a lighter handy.

As the elevator ascended—or maybe it was going sideways? Diagonally? Hard to be sure—Mr. Heiss finally let go of Indy’s hand and adjusted his suit. He stared straight ahead, apparently intent on not discussing what was happening or where they were.

Obviously, that wasn’t going to work for Indy.

“So!” Indy clapped his hands together. “Is this one of the places where you can get a vajacial?”

Mr. Heiss slowly turned his head to blink down at Indy. “A what?”

“It’s a facial for your vagina. But you look like you could use a regular facial. There’s a lot going on here.” Indy waved his hand around Mr. Heiss’s face. “Or maybe that’s just how you always look. Constipated.”

“You have your grandmother’s delightful sense of humor.”