Page 77 of Demons Dig Donuts

“Here I thought you were a devious mastermind, but you’re actually an idiot. Oh my God.” Floppy laughed bitterly. “You have no idea what’s going on, do you?”

“I do, but I thought it would be fun to ask.” Indy snarled. “Come on!”

“How did you get the Artifact?”

“It was fucking forced on me, okay?” Indy glared. “Some guy named Clancy—”

“Clancy? Clancy Carver?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t get all his vitals! It was just fucking Clancy! He literally shoved the ring on my finger, said a bunch of weird shit, and then vanished.”

Floppy narrowed his eyes. “What did he look like?”

“I dunno. Old. White. Meh? Maybe a strong five if he moisturized.”

Floppy was thoughtful for a long moment, his brow scrunched up. One of his ears twitched, he nodded as if deciding something, and then he said, “We don’t call ourselves mostri ribelli. We’re Saviors. Our mission is to stop the Mostros at any cost so that monsters can live freely without their rules and fees and all their little favors and twisted system of justice with their insane penalties. We had the numbers. We had resources. We had a leader with a great plan. But…”

“But?”

“He died.” Floppy grimaced. “And that’s when everything fell apart. Not right away, but that is the day the seeds of our downfall were sown. No one could agree on a new leader, so everyone split off into different factions to rally around whoever they thought should take over. We still managed to work together and stay focused on our mission, but… one of them said we weren’t doing enough. That it was time for action. And then they went too far.”

“Define too far for me, Floppy.”

“That is not my name!”

Indy stared expectantly. “Well?”

“Debolicus! My name is Debolicus Rex.”

“Mm, no. That is way too badass. I’m going to call you Debbie.” Indy smiled sweetly. “So, what exactly happened, Debbie? They try to poison the water hole?”

“They killed other monsters.” Debbie hung his head. “They created a plague to hurt weres and so many died… They’ve flooded the streets with dangerous drugs and even tried using cursed music to kill every monster in Somerstown! They’re so desperate to stop the Mostros that they simply don’t care about collateral damage! Even our own kind!”

Indy had certainly heard the rumors, but he hadn’t expected to have them confirmed straight from the horse’s mouth—well, a bunny’s mouth to be precise.

“The Saviors are growing weak. So are the other factions. The few left anyway.” Debbie smiled sadly. “We can’t fight the Mostros and the Ides too. Not for much longer.”

“The Ides?”

“The Ides of Interitus.”

“Wait, like the Ides of March?”

“Why don’t you ask them?” Debbie scoffed. “I expect they’ll be along shortly to collect you.”

“Is that who brought me here? Someone from the Ides?”

“Yes. You got away last time thanks to Mr. Heiss and his little thugs, but not all of us were so lucky.” Debbie shrugged. “I’m the only one left.”

“Wait, so there were Saviors and Ides guys?”

Debbie rolled his eyes. “Mitternacht was there, wasn’t he? He’s with the Ides.”

Indy froze. “And Mr. Kalt?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, just when I thought he couldn’t get any shittier.” Indy ran his fingers through his hair, and a memory from his last meeting with Debbie popped into his head. “What about that Johnson guy? The one you said was gonna rise?”