Page 138 of Heimlock

It’s taken years to find a real family that accepts me. Loves me. I want to be better, not just for myself, but for them too. They deserve the best version of myself, and right now, this is not it.

I’m tired of this version. I’m ready to be whoever I’m meant to be on the other side of things. While I have no idea who I am without this trauma, I’m ready to find out.

Heart screaming, pulse thundering, I step forward. “I’ll share.”

Kyrielle never lets go of my hand as hundreds of eyes look at me. The only sound is the snapping of burning wood from the pyre and a ringing in my ears. Where do I begin? What should I say? What is too much?

Feeling like a bumbling fool, I begin. “My name is Trinte. I’ve spent my entire life believing that something good is on the way. Life kept trying to prove me otherwise, but there’s been a driving force inside that keeps me going. After each heartbreak and betrayal, I rallied, thinking next time could be different.”

So many faces flit through my mind, choking me up. The man next to me grabs my shoulder, while Kyrielle wraps both of her arms around mine. Tears blur my vision. “I was giving up. Sometimes, I wanted to be dead. Because what is the point of living a life only ever intended to be excruciating?”

Murmurs of agreement bolster my courage. I glance at Kyrielle, feeling so much love when she gives me an expression full of adoration and encouragement. Without her, I’d be dead. I know it as surely as knowing air fills my lungs. She saved my life.

To everyone else, I say, “But Fortuna gave me a gift. An unexpected one. And if I had died, then I wouldn’t have been around for it. So tonight, I’m burning this dragon as a symbol of leaving the old version of me behind. I don’t deserve to be him anymore. I deserve whoever my future self will turn into.”

I step back, signalling that I’m done. The man squeezes my shoulder. I offer a thankful expression before focusing on Kyrielle. Her eyes shimmer with tears. When one falls, I wipe it away with my thumb. With a soft smile, I lick it off.

She laughs, releasing more tears. Then, this goddess-given Fire Sprite looks at me and says, “I love you, Trinte.”

I burst into tears because she’s my gift. This moment’s my gift. Everything going forward is my gift. Fortuna gave me struggles, but never extinguished my Fyre, all so I could be here with the love of my life.

Leaning down, I kiss Kyrielle with nothing but gratitude for her; for our future. When the kiss breaks, I whisper, “I love you, Kyrielle.”

When it’s time to burn the symbols of hurt, I do so with a lighter heart and soul. The energy around us shifts as others experience the same.

After it’s done, I look at Kyrielle. “Thank you. You were right.”

She preens. “Get used to it; happens more than you think.”

Encasing her in my arms, I say, “Do you want to go get a drink? I feel like one is necessary right now.”

“Heimlocks?”

“Heimlocks,” I confirm.

***

The nearest bar is a bit too swanky for my taste — and Heimlocks are double the cost somehow — but I’m just glad to be spending time with her. We’ve been here for a few minutes already, decompressing after an intense moment.

When we get home, I plan on asking her to stop moving slowly. Realizing what a gift she is makes me not want to hold back anymore. I’ve been the one holding the reins on this one — I’m ready to take a chance.

As she sips her beer, I watch the way her throat moves with each swallow. Her lips pressed against the glass. For the first time in my life, I want a mouth wrapped around my cock. My entire adulthood, I thought my father ruined it for me, but the way she licks her lips, I need it.

I want to give Kyrielle every part of myself I’ve refused to share with others.

She places the glass on the bar and turns her fireburst eyes on me. She does a double-take. “What is that look for?”

My lust must be plain on my face. I grin. “Just thinking of all the things I want that mouth to do.”

Her eyes flare with excitement. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“That I desperately want to shove myself down your throat?”

Kyrielle’s gaze turns heated as she looks between my legs. I doubt my half-erection is visible, but that glance makes it worse. Eyes flicking back to mine, she says, “Yes?”

“Then you’d be correct.”

Her heat signature rises instantly. “Is this a bathroom kind of deal?”