Page 55 of Lying to the Boss

But I am loving it.

I love this life that I’ve built in only about six months. I have a steady, good-paying job that I love. An apartment that is affordable and comfortable, albeit still coming together. I have a boyfriend who spoils the hell out of me, takes me out on dates, and fucks me so damn good.

What more could I ask for? It’s the exact life that I wanted; that I came here for.

When the movie is done, we find another to watch. I can’t get enough of cuddling with Lane, but I do wonder what he wants out of our future, especially during these quiet moments when my brain has a lot of time to think. Is there a future for us? Or is this where it stays?

I’m happy with where we’re at, but this isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to get married. I really want to have kids; that’s non-negotiable. I want to own a home; a homey home. Not something cold and bare and made for show rather than comfort.

“Lane?” I say, just as Bumblebee jumps into the air and transforms. Yeah, he’s never seen the live-action Transformers movies, so that’s what we’re doing. He glances at me with an expectant look on his face. “What do you want for your future?”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Like… with us.”

“Are you asking if I see a future with you?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Yes, I see a future with you.”

“What does it look like?”

He thinks about it for a moment, then gives a small shake of his head. “Whatever you want it to look like.”

“You have no thoughts on it?”

“I never thought I’d settle down with someone, but I can see myself doing that with you. I guess I haven’t thought about it enough, but there’s nothing I won’t do. If you want to move, we’ll move. If you want to get married, I would love to marry you. If you want kids, let’s adopt ten of them.”

Is it too soon to think about these things? It’s been roughly six months since our hook-up… only a few solid weeks of us being in this steady routine. There is a lot of in-between of me fighting off his flirting.

“How are you so sure of yourself?” I ask.

It’s not that I’m not, it’s just the way he says it… like it’s already been chiseled into stone.

“There was something about you the moment I saw you. Each day, it’s grown. I want to be with you every day, Tage, you’re the one holding back.”

“It’s only been a few months.”

“Time doesn’t measure feelings.” He shifts. “And I don’t think it does for you either. There’s something else keeping you from moving forward.”

“What does that mean?”

He gives a small shake of his head. “Something from your past. I see it bothers you. I don’t know what it is, and I assumed you’d tell me when you wanted to. Your hesitation has nothing to do with me, or us; it has to do with whatever trauma you’ve dealt with.”

“Is it that obvious?” I ask, my voice smaller than I mean it to be.

I thought when we got to this point, I’d feel defensive and not want to talk about it.Don’t get me wrong, I do not want to talk about it, but I don’t feel the way I thought. It feels okay to open up to him. I trust him.

“To me, yes. But I’m also very observant, especially when it comes to you.” His hand slides up my leg in a soothing way. “What do you want for your future?” he asks.

I’m so glad that he lets it go that I can’t help but blurt out all that I want.

“All of it. Marriage. Kids. A dog. Maybe a cat, too. A house with a big yard and a pool.”

“I have a house with a big yard and a pool.”

I roll my eyes. “You said yourself that you don’t even like that house.”