Page 157 of Make Me Laugh

I open my mouth to say something, but the captain interrupts. “Welcome to Boston. The local time is 3:04 a.m. with a temperature of thirty-four degrees Fahrenheit. We apologize for tonight’s delay…” His voice fades away as Talia holds her phone out to me.

I stare like it might jump out and bite me until my eyes focus on West, standing in the middle of the stage, a backwards HOTSHOT hat, mic cord wrapped around his wrist. The sound of his deep voice hits me like a sonic boom.

He thanks his parents, then Enzo and Kell, followed by the fans, saving Hex for last.

“For seeing the real me when I couldn’t.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself if I tried.

Regret crashes into me, forcing me to give Talia her phone back. I dig my nails into my thighs, needing to feel something to stay grounded. The pain makes me swallow the need to barf.

I’m so fucking stupid.

“I’m sure it’s hard not to listen to the negative stuff people are saying, but I hope you know there are so many people in our community who are just glad to see you happy after the doxxing. You’re more important to strangers on the internet than you may think. Losing Hex would be a devastating blow.” The plane halts at the gate, seconds later the seatbelt sign goes off with a ding and people stand.

We walk together to baggage claim, thankful Talia leads the conversation while I float behind like a balloon losing air.

Before saying goodbye, she invites me to the book signing with her friends, but I tell her I have plans… I don’t tell her that those plans include crying on my couch, eating nothing but ice cream and French fries, and throwing my phone in the harbor so I never look at it again.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

THE ONE WITH THE VOICEMAIL

TalisTBR posted a picture: From @HexedHeroine’s comment section to a Thanksgiving girl’s trip to meet one of our favorite authors this weekend in Boston! Love these girls & the village Hex helped me find

Comment: Omg I met my besties because of Hex too!

Comment reply: She really is the center of so many of our beginnings in the bookish community. I’m going to be so sad if this takes her from us!

My bags getting left behind in Chicago should have sent me over the edge, but I’m so numb from everything else I barely remember the airport employee telling me they’re scheduled to be on the next flight from Chicago in a few hours.

I’m in a taxi about five minutes from home when I finally take my phone out of my bag. I keep it on Do Not Disturb, not ready for the flood of messages I’m sure await.

I need to let Frankie know I’m okay, even though it’s almost 4:30 a.m., and I’ve ignored her all night. My phone unlocks with my Face ID, and a notification from an app that’s given permission to bypass any silent mode setting pops up.

My favorite app, while very effective in ensuring I’m getting tasks finished, won’t let me do anything else until I complete whatever to-do I have pending.

I click the bubble, the screen opening to my private list:

1. West Wednesdays

2. Bitches love hockey

3. Do not fall for West fucking Isakson!!!!!!!

4. Fall in love…

Wait, number 4? I didn’t add… My eyes shoot to the corner, and I click on the icon with my professional headshot. Underneath the list’s name is a green circle with the letters WI.

West has had access since the day I made this list. He’s seen every single time I’ve added a fucking exclamation point, and tonight, after I left, at 12:30 a.m., he added to the list:

4. Fall in love with Josette fucking Daniels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

West loves me. I’ve known that, but I’ve been fighting with the fact that I love him too—for far longer than I realized.

I started this list in New Haven. I knew I was falling in love with him the weekend I met him. I’ve just been too scared to admit it, afraid it would make him leave or change his mind.

But here we are, over two months later, and West’s updating a stupid to-do list because he knows I’ll ignore my texts, calls, and messages, but I can’t ignore this.