Page 60 of Make Me Laugh

We’ve both been silent, keeping our online communities chattering about theories and engaging with our old content.

They went crazy for the picture someone got of me in the yellow dress at West’s show. Thank fucking god I hadn’t given up and put my biker shorts back on!

Comment: Hex is the hottest woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life… And I’m a straight married mom of 4.

Comment: SLUT ALWAYS WITH HER TITS OUT

His profile picture is exactly what I’d expect from a comment like that.

Comment: She’s glowing, but pls @HexedHeroine plsss come back we miss you! What are we reading next??? We’re lost without you!

Comment: Marry her @WestParkerComedy or her book babes will

Jesus Christ, they’re shipping us. I’m being shipped with West fucking Parker.

And I better get used to it, because my job for the next two months starting Friday is to do whatever it takes to make Hex and West Parker household names.

A few of West’s videos have spiked to over a million views, and he’s been tagged in a ton of videos and pictures by fans.

The latest tag is a video from a comedy club in London called LOL.

“London, thanks for giving me a reason to laugh again! I’ll see you when I make it back across the pond, okay?” His smile is infectious, warming my face as I watch him. “Wear your seatbelt, don’t drink and drive, and tell your mom I said hi.” He waves one last time, puts the mic back in its stand, bows to the packed theater, and disappears offstage before the video starts over.

LOLondon: Forever grateful the opener never showed up to a sold out show & @WestParkerComedy was funny enough to step out from behind the bar and entertain a crowd of two hundred on the spot with no performing experience and nothing planned. This is West’s final home club show at LOLondon! We miss you already! Don’t forget about us!

The video has over a million views.

I read some of the top comments, and not everyone’s nice to West. A lot of jealous looking frat bros comment things like: he’s not even funny! Or, I bet he’s compensating for a small dick!

This is child’s play compared to what I have in store for me, and I know it. I’m a woman who uses her body and sex appeal to her advantage online. People hate it.

If it’s a man doing it, it’s fine, encouraged even. The second it’s a woman then it’s a problem, and we should think about the children!

Plus, I can confirm the last comment is a billion percent untrue. West definitely has the biggest dick I’ve ever seen in real life, and he knows what to do with it. He also knows what to do with his fingers, and his tongue, and… Bad!

I shake my head like it’ll rattle the thoughts out, and then gather some information about West’s account, making notes in the app I had him download for organized storage. Getting into a work headspace is good for me. It’s giving me a task to complete, keeping the anxiety at bay for now.

From West’s tagged videos, I find the one that started it all.

Twenty million views. In four days.

My most viewed video is six million, with lots over the million-view mark scattered in.

We’re going to have to try to get a few more videos like this on tour…

I let it play, setting my phone’s volume to max. I feel like I’m seeing it through a new pair of eyes now, catching details I hadn’t the three times I’d watched it standing in my kitchen with an audience.

The video starts with West on his knees, then cuts to him pretending to pray. “Do you want me to beg? I’m already on my knees.” West’s voice is deep in person, but it registers even lower here.

Objectively, if this weren’t me but another woman, I’d definitely ship them too…

I’m in my chair, arms crossed, looking as uninterested as I could possibly be. But what I hadn’t noticed while it was happening or when I watched the first times, was the corner of my lips pulling into a playful smile as our banter intensified.

It catches my leg grazing West’s and the clench of his jaw when it happens. He towers over me, phone in hand, and bites his lip. I had to have blacked out to miss that the first time—I’m a complete sucker for West and his lip bites. “Joey, you dirty, dirty girl.”

All the details I’d missed haven’t been missed by our millions of viewers.

I finally take a plunge into the comments.