Page 98 of Make Me Laugh

Views have been down overall. Not bad… Just down.

We agreed it was time to start setting up for more on-stage moments after our family taco dinner earlier this week. That was after I turned down filming actual content together—that might be what the people want, but I can’t imagine bringing anyone into the Hex filming process.

The world has seen me as Hex online, but no one’s ever seen her in person. Not Frankie. Not Hilda. Not Frankie’s hot lesbian guitarist friend. No one.

West turns to where Frankie and I sit inside the VIP lounge. Others might not be able to tell exactly where his eyes are, but I know they’re on me. I can feel them like tiny laser beams.

They flick to my best friend, wiggling in her seat excitedly. “Hi, Franceska Louise,” West says sweetly into the microphone.

Frankie waves like a fool. “Hi, Westifer Parker!” Last night, she decided his one-syllable name wasn’t enough and nicknamed him something longer.

People turn to look our way. I scan those closest to us, watching a few put two and two together when they recognize me.

“Who’s your friend?” West nods in my direction.

Frankie looks at me, and then back to West. “Her? Oh, you wouldn’t know her.” I appreciate her deflection, but where was it the first time?

He hums into the mic, eyes trailing every inch of my body he can see from the stage. “She looks so familiar.” West’s gaze drops to his shirt long enough for most of the audience to take notice. “I just can’t put my finger on it.”

He changes his infliction on the word finger on purpose.

Warmth pools between my legs at the memory of him cleaning his off after using them to bring me to an orgasm in record time.

West’s setting the scene for another viral video, just like we talked about… but nothing about what he says next feels like a joke. “She must remind me of my future wife.”

Everyone erupts into drunk whistles and cheers, as if West needs any encouragement.

He winks at me, wrapping the show as he always does—with a special callback to the brother he lost.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

THE ONE WHERE FRANKIE SINGS

HexedHeroine posted a video to her story: 2,000+ people screaming @WestParkerComedy’s name at the same time is going to make him insufferable. Thanks a lot, Philly!

WestParkerComedy shared HexedHeroine’s story: I’d trade them all to hear you do it instead, Hex baby

The high I feel coming off stage is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.

I had little to no expectations going into this show. I figured there’d be a good enough crowd, but I hadn’t expected a sold-out show with over 2,000 seats.

“You’re going on an arena tour next year. Mark my words,” Enzo says before I spend about twenty minutes at the front barricade meeting fans who stayed behind in hopes I’d come out.

I take pictures, sign T-shirts, arms, and whatever else I’m asked to… Except, for the first time in my career, I look the woman in the eyes who asks me to sign her tits and say, “there’s a witch around here who might hex us for that.” I glance over both my shoulders for dramatic effect, before taking her Sharpie and signing by her collarbone. She gets a playful wink and a dimpled smile but nothing more.

People ask about Hex once I bring her up, and I have to pretend like I’m not wondering the same damn thing. I want Joey to have the night off and enjoy her time with Frankie, but selfishly, I want her here with me too. Not even to have her on the clock working, just to be here.

She hasn’t texted me back since I went on stage, and it’s eating me alive.

I really, really hope she’s not mad about the shirt.

Did she hate it? Did she like it and that’s why she’s not talking to me?

When I first met Joey, of course I did a quick Google search of Hex. It’s what our generation does—I refuse to apologize for it.

Someone had a one of a kind HexedHeroine shirt on a resale site for $100. I bought it before our video blew up, before I knew anything about Joey. I was determined to talk to her again, even if it meant I had to get her attention by wearing the shirt until it somehow got back to her.

I was willing to play the long game.