Page 31 of Checking Out the Librarian

Connor rounded the end of the row, a small blond girl in his arms. Her hair was lighter and wispier than Connor’s, but similarly curly, and the way his arm wrapped under her butt, effortlessly supporting her, and her legs tucked right above his hip, looked comfortable.

Worse, it looked familiar.

The little girl reached out and tilted away from Connor, calling “Mommy! Show me the books.”

Jonathan froze.

Like an expert, Connor handed her off to the woman with the ponytail.

If that was Mommy, was that Daddy?

The absolute son-of-a-bitch rat bastard.

Connor had a family. A cute mini-Connor, a Kira or a Bean or whatever you named a little girl these days. Something adorable, no doubt. And surprise, she came with a bonus treat, her very own mommy.

Connor wasn’t the first to pull this shit on Jonathan, but he was the first to seem so uncaring about the deception. That fucker had texted Jonathan this morning with a photo of a blueberry scone, and then he’d said it wasn’t nearly as delicious as the doughnuts they’d had last weekend and asked what breakfast places Jonathan liked, almost as if he’d been issuing an invitation.

Jonathan guessed cheating must confer a secret yum, but all he felt was nauseous. What about him drew men who cheated on their presumably perfect wives?

He shifted to push the cart back into the storeroom, because he didn’t deserve this and neither did the nice mommy out there, but it turned out today was not his day for graceful exits.

“Jonathan? You work here?” Connor’s voice sounded excited and startled and so fucking innocent. Anyone would have fallen for that act. “In Eugene?”

“May I help you?”

“It’s…I was…it’s good to see you. I didn’t know you…”

The red-haired woman looked between them, her eyebrows furrowing. He needed to be better than this; he couldn’t rip her life apart in the middle of the public library.

“Oh, Connor, that’s right. How nice to see you again.” The greeting cut and crackled like ice in his throat as he forced nonchalance.

He gave up and pulled the cart the rest of the way out. He couldn’t skate in the other direction like he’d done that morning in New York, but he could save her by pretending they’d met at a park or someplace innocent that wouldn’t hurt the smiling family.

“How’s your dog? What was its name?”

“Ribby. It’s great to see you, too. Did you get my text?”

Damn this man. He was smiling like his own family wasn’t watching.

“You live in Eugene? So do I.” As he stepped closer to Jonathan’s cart, the woman jiggled the little girl and without a word, Connor divided his attention, taking the armload of illustrated books and easy readers, leaving the woman holding only the child.

Jonathan made a noncommittal noise that would have discouraged conversation with most people and turned to his task.

Books on hold for Murphy, K. slid between the ones for Morris and the ones for Murray. He’d transferred the holds onto the shelves enough times, he didn’t even have to think about how to wrap his hand around the spines and slot them into spots. Books for Roberts, G. went to the left of the ones for Robertson already on the shelf, no thinking required, and then books for Ryan, L. went to the right of Robertson.

No thinking required. His hands could do this task while his little diva heart ran away to hide under a desk and bawl.

“This is great! Can we get coffee or something?” Connor failed to understand the message being sent by Jonathan’s stiff shoulder. “Do you have a break soon?”

“I don’t believe so, no.” Jonathan could not maintain this façade in his workplace. He couldn’t wrestle a steel cart of books at the edge of this cliff, pinned by the innocent gaze of a big-eyed manga waif, and he couldn’t hang out chatting with Connor, a man he’d fucked into oblivion last weekend, under the doting gaze of that child’s mother.

Abandoning the rolling cart as if it could form a levee between the flood of Connor’s personality and Jonathan’s own angry crushed hopes, he walked away and circled the opposite end of the long shelf.

Lily staffed the circulation desk in the youth services area. He went straight to her.

She frowned when he inserted himself at an open computer terminal but said nothing.

Then Connor approached, holding the child and jiggling her until she clutched his neck and laughed.