Page 69 of Checking Out the Librarian

Believe me, I know. Even here we get complaints about “those dirty books.”

Two male chinstrap penguins sitting on an egg are poopy, but not dirty.

I apologize for the rant. As a librarian I have a lot of opinions.

Connor

So we’re going to Pride and we’re making signs and reveling.

What are we wearing

Should we match

Jonathan

You do it on purpose. I know you do.

Connor

What

Jonathan

Leave off the punctuation.

He wanted to retrieve that text, but it was too late. He was a pretentious asshole. At this point, that wasn’t new information for Connor, and Connor still texted him at Herman Melville levels, so while Jonathan could try to be less perfect, he could also try to stop worrying that his obsession with periods and commas would chase Connor away.

Connor

I am 26 not 76

Jonathan

You suggested matching, as if you were 76.

Connor

Come over tonight and make free with my closet

Style me up please

Jonathan

Was that a typo that was supposed to be spelled tie me up?

Why had he hit send? This man was ruining him.

Connor

It is new

New

I mean now

Lily pounced into the break room, collapsed into her own chair and spun it in a full circle. Her stare went back and forth between Jonathan, his phone, and the container of muffins on his desk. She was more transparent than the clear plastic. “What did you bring me?”

“Lemon poppyseed.” He removed the lid and her hand darted out making grabby claw motions before he could extend the container.