Page 24 of Back Outside Edge

“No, really. I just need to meditate, but after that…” He pauses, and he’s blushing. Is he remembering that almost kiss the same way I am? “I don't mind you being around.” He says it hesitantly, like he thinks I'll either laugh at him or reject him. Is it me? Do I bring out this adorable shy side of Stefan? No; that's impossible. “It's kind of nice, actually.”

My cheeks tug, breaking into a smile. Stefan likes having me around. He's gone from hating the very idea, to all but asking me to hang out with him in the morning. Talk about the impossible. Have I tamed the tiger after all?

If I make too big of a deal of it, it might backfire. He's embarrassed, which might make him twitchy. I keep my reply casual, nonchalant. “Ok, no problem. Maybe I can just go pick up breakfast for both of us while you're meditating, and then we can eat in the room.” Are we allowed to bring food out? No idea; don't care. I'll make it happen.

“Yeah, let's do that.” It’s a huge break in routine, but all his hesitancy is gone. If anything, his voice is a mixture of shy and pleased, which might be the cutest thing I've ever heard.

I’m pacing, nervous, the morning of the free skate, and all but pounce on Gabby when she comes to check on me. “What would it take to keep me in the top ten?”

Her smile is kind, and I’m afraid she’s about to let me down, to remind me I don’t have a shot in hell. “You don’t have to feel responsible for all of Canada, Evan.”

“I appreciate that, but I’m the one who’s here, so—is it possible?”

She shrugs. “I think your free skate will stack up if you skate it clean. And you never know. Everyone else could have a disaster program.”

“I'm not going to hope they mess up so I can do better,” I argue. “Obviously.”

"Of course not," she smiles at me. The too sweet smile everyone on the university team knows too well. “But that doesn't mean I can't hope a little for you.”

“You are a terrifying woman, Gabriela Ramirez.” An insight I doubt most people have. She looks tiny and cute and warm, and she can be. She's also ruthless.

She laughs, clapping me on the shoulder. "You'll do great, hon. I'm not worried about you."

I shouldn't be either. Nobody's expecting me to medal. Anything I do now, having already secured us a single space, is just cake. Nonetheless, I'd like to place in that top ten, earn two spots for Canada in the Olympics.

“Do I need to change anything to give us a better shot?”

She wraps an arm around my shoulder, hugging me against her side as best she can, given she's about ten inches shorter than me. “You just go out there and do what I know you can do, hon. You've got this. Make the audience cry. Hell, make the judges cry.”

It makes me laugh, and if the nerves hit all the harder, sending me pacing again, we both ignore it. “This isn't my sad program.”

“I know.” She meets me eyes with intention. Another moment that could be terrifying if I didn’t know her so well. Gabby’s look can sear straight through a person’s soul. “But you'll still make them cry. From the sheer beauty of your skate.”

At that, heat crawls up my neck and my own eyes prickle. “Damn it, Gabby.”

“I'm only telling you what everybody already knows.” A light punch on my shoulder, and she turns away. “Now get to work. Need me to pull out the blocks?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks, Gabs.”

I'm still a little too warm as I lay on my pad, starting my stretches. Stefan comes in with his father a few minutes later but doesn't acknowledge me. Both of us are focusing so hard, I’m a bit surprised I noticed his entrance. His presence is a comfort, though. A warmth off to my right, doing double duty by taking all the camera's attention off me.

Somehow, in this ridiculous upside down world, I am in the same group as him and we'll be going on the ice together for our warm-up.

Like a punch to the gut, I realize, for the first time, he's going before me. In no world would I ever have believed I'd be going after Stefan in the free skate. That I could have outscored him in the short. He'll come off the ice as I go onto it. How is this reality?

Chapter 11

Stefan

Iam as ready as it's possible to be. With one glaring exception, I've spent every minute this morning doing things the way I'm supposed to. My father has joined me when he's supposed to. He's left when he's supposed to. I'm even wearing my lucky socks. Which I don't wear that often anymore because it's a stupid superstition, but today I'll take any extra bit of luck I can get my hands on.

The glaring exception is, of course, Evan. Who was there when I woke up, and who again brought breakfast up while I meditated. We ate together in silence, but we did eat together.

I did not tell Dad.

I've warmed up, styled my hair. Put on my eyeliner. I'm in costume. A silver and black monstrosity that someone, somewhere decided would be amazing. My choreographer, my costume designer, maybe my mom, possibly all three. I picked the music. They picked the costume. I look like a villain, which is exactly the way I am supposed to look.

I am ready.