Page 74 of Back Outside Edge

Three days after the fall

Me

I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. Just let me know you’re ok, please?

At least let someone do another press release? Everyone is very worried

I’m so sorry. I should have said that earlier. I’m so, so sorry

I fucked up big time. I miss you. Please, just let me know you’re ok?

Luc texted, and he’s worried too. I love you. Be ok, please

Three days, and nothing. My text thread to Evan hasn’t updated on his end. Every single message since his fall is still on delivered.

I don’t even care that I just said I love you for the first time via text. I didn’t realize it until I typed it, and then it was so obvious it hurt. But am I too late? Is he ignoring me, or is he physically incapable of responding?

My brain has been conjuring images of Evan with head trauma so bad that he’ll never wake up. Without the ability to move his body. With amnesia. Broken beyond repair. Every worst case scenario it can come up with.

Because the Evan I know, the Evan I love, wouldn’t just ignore me. Even if he blames me for everything, he wouldn’t. He’s too kind, too generous. He might tell me to fuck the hell off, but he wouldn’t leave me wondering if he’ll ever walk again. Ever speak again. Ever be able to operate his phone again.

Whatever is wrong with him must be awful.

I switch threads, go back to the brand new one between Luc and me.

Me

Anything?

Luc

You know I’ll tell you the moment I get an update.

Me

Have you checked the arena? His room? Maybe he left his phone somewhere and he doesn’t even have it

Luc

I think his coach went through everything, but I’ll double check. He switched rooms the night before the short, so I’ll have her check both.

The night before the short. The night I was flying home with my tail between my legs. Of course he did. No way he would have roomed with Alexandre that night.

Me

He had it that morning, because he texted me

And I didn’t answer. I ghosted him. Like the absolute fucking piece of trash I am.

Luc

Ok.

Six days after the fall

Me

Ok, love. You have to have your phone, because it isn’t anywhere else. Please answer me, if you can