Page 48 of LA Reign

He takes a step back from me, his face so full of fury that I wonder if he’s about to explode. “What did you just fucking say?” he growls.

I swallow. Maybe that was unfair, because he’s never said that to me. He’s never once told me he only wants me to provide his heirs. And he’s gone to a huge amount of effort to find me. But I’m still hurting, and there’s no point in sweeping any of this under the rug. “I heard you and your father talking yesterday,” I tell him. “I didn’t mean to snoop, I just came to the suite to see you. I heard what he said about me and maybe he’s right. I am useless to you now.”

“You really think I believe that?” he asks, his voice low and dangerous.

“Well, you didn’t correct him. You let him say those awful things about me and you didn’t disagree,” I reply, my voice trembling as much as my knees. The memory of that whole scene floods back into my mind, humiliating and painful.

“If you’re going to eavesdrop, perhaps you should make sure to listen to the whole conversation. My father has always had my unwavering respect. He is a man who isn’t used to being disagreed with and so I let him have his say. I let him get it out of his system.”

Those are the exact same words Kelsey used. Could it be true? I so want it to be true.

“If you’d hung around, Alana, you would have heard me call him a jackass and throw him out of my office. I’ve never in my life spoken to my father like that. But for you, for our marriage? I did. You didn’t get to hear that because you ran away. Do you really think that your only worth to me is to give me a kid? Do you really trust our marriage that little?”

“But that is one of the reasons you married me,” I challenge him. “My dad’s political connections, my name, and the fact that I was young and could help your family continue its legacy.”

“Maybe that was part of it, especially for my dad. But that’s not why we’re still married. I don’t give a fuck about kids, Alana, if I don’t have you by my side. You are everything to me. You’re my whole world. I just don’t understand how you could think otherwise.”

He walks away from me and sits at the edge of Kelsey’s bed. He makes this already small room feel even smaller, dominating it with his beautiful bulk. He stares at me, and although the fire is still there, I now also notice how tired he looks.

How would I have felt if the roles were reversed? If I was worried for his safety, and thought he’d left me without giving me the chance to even fight for our marriage?

I would feel terrible.

I sit beside him, my body pressed close to his.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I really am. But I was already upset and scared. We’d talked about having kids, and you always sounded so happy when we discussed it. I wanted it, too. It wasn’t about continuing the Montoya name for me, it was about us. Us creating the perfect little babies I knew we would create, raising them together, loving them together. I wanted it so much…”

I gulp back the emotion. This is still all too fresh and raw. He tenses beside me. “I was coming to see you to explain how bad I felt, how sad. Then I heard your dad saying those awful things, and maybe it confirmed how I was already starting to think about myself. Like I was a failure. The fact that I might never get to have a baby, Alejandro, it’s...” I shake my head and finally lose the battle against the tears.

He sighs, and his arm goes around my shoulders. He tugs me close and kisses my head as I weep against his chest.

“I know, Alana. I know. I wish you hadn’t heard those things. I wish you’d stayed and seen the look on my dad’s face when I called him out and told him to leave.”

I glance up at him, and he wipes tears gently from my cheeks. “I bet he didn’t take that well, huh? I’m sorry I’ve come between you two. I know how much you respect him.”

He kisses me softly. “He’s the one who should be sorry. He probably already is. At a guess, he’s told my mother what happened, and she’s torn him a new one. But the fact that you think I would allow someone to talk about you like that, and not defend you, kills me. How could you believe that? Especially about something like this?”

“I was already a wreck. Already hurting so much. Maybe part of me thought your dad was right, that leaving you would make it easier for you to move on.”

His grip tightens, and his fingers dig into my arms. “You will never leave me, Alana. There will never be any moving on, for either of us. And I would never let anybody talk about you like that.”

“Thank you. But…Well, it wasn’t just anyone, was it? It was your father. And I know how much you love him. I know how loyal you are to your family, Alejandro.”

He closes his eyes and takes a breath. When he opens them again, they are blazing with emotion. “What you say is true. I am loyal. But you’re family too, Alana, and while I would kill for my father, I would die for you.”

He lowers his head, brushing his lips over mine. I want to relax. I want to put this all behind us, but I have to be sure.

“I don’t want you to die for me, Alex. I want to know that you can live for me, even if we can’t have those little Montoyas you said you wanted.”

He holds my face between his palms, forcing me to meet his gaze.

“There are plenty of ways to have kids. And even if we don’t, you are enough. You need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be perfect.”

“I want to be perfect for you though. I want to be everything you need.”

“You already are, princesa. I swear I will both live and die a happy man as long as you are by my side. You are my everything. Now, can we please go home?”

My heart swells in my chest. Home. I feel like all of the air is being sucked from the room, and I take shallow breaths to calm my racing heart. I have been such an idiot, but as Alex seems to have forgiven me. Maybe I should forgive me, too.