Page 102 of The Cost of Love

With a big breath, I open it and almost immediately let it go when I see that it’s Alex.

Without a word, he pulls me into his arms, and I fight every single tear not to fall. Even though I want to, I don’t hold on for long, knowing the kids are wondering who’s here.

“Alex,” Gabby cheers before running into his arms. “Did you come to say goodbye?” She looks down at the ground, her arms going limp around him.

“I just came to see you. I know yesterday was a lot.”

“That’s an understatement,” Jamal says before hugging him, too.

He tells Jamal he agrees before leading him back to the couch. Sitting back, relaxed, Alex seems too chipper for this day, and it grates on my nerves. The ease with which he speaks and moves shouldn’t be possible, knowing what he knows. Still, he talks to them and jokes with them like it’s any other day.

I want to yell at him, but it’s distracting them enough that there are no tears, so I let it go. Instead, I join in and try to make things as light as possible while we continue to wait. After two more hours pass, Imani pulls me to the side.

“What do you think is taking them so long?”

“I don’t know, but maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe she was a no-show.”

The tilt of her head makes it clear that she doesn’t agree, but just as she goes to argue, my phone rings.

I answer instantly, something in my gut telling me that it’s good news.

“Chanice, this is Reyna.”

I can’t manage a response, so I wait for her to continue.

“I wanted to let you know that your mum came in today and relinquished her rights. It’s been a lot, as you can imagine, and well, we are in the process of getting you back in front of the judge to grant you custody. If you still want it.”

I press a hand to my chest and try to keep my feet still. This time, I can’t fight the tears, but they are here for a different reason. I try to push past the choking relief and speak.

“Of course I want it.”

Imani covers her mouth, her eyes going big. I grab her other hand and squeeze tightly.

“Okay, well, in the meantime, obviously you’ll remain their guardian. So, um, yeah.” She pauses, and it’s clear she wants to say more. “I’m sorry. I should have…” she trails off. “I’m just sorry.”

I want to tell her to go fuck herself, but instead just say bye and hang up as quickly as I can. Running back into the room, I drag Imani with me.

“She gave up her rights!” I yell out.

“What?” Jamal asks.

“She came in today and gave up her rights. She can’t take you. She can never take you again.”

They all start screaming and jumping. Dancing around the room, Gabby is clapping her hands. The tears make it impossible for me to see anymore as I sink onto the ground, relieved. It’s over. It’s finally over. They’re mine, and no one can come and take them from me. Bodies crash into me, and I open my eyes to see the kids all squeezing me in a group hug. Just past them, Alex is standing there smiling.

I mouth I love you, because I know somehow, someway, he had something to do with this. The way he came in with a smile, he knew that everything was going to be okay. He made sure I was going to be okay. He mouths it back and then comes and joins us.

We don’t know what to do, so we just sit there in our joy, soaking in this moment. It feels like hours before we finally let go. The kids go to unpack and nap now that they know they are staying. I promise a celebratory dinner when they wake up.

Going into my own room, I burst into tears as soon as the door closes, finally letting myself fall apart. All the tears I’ve been shoving down come pouring out as I sob and laugh, two strong emotions raging inside of me. I’m so happy, but for weeks I’ve had to be the one to hold it together, and now I don’t have to. Now I can finally process all of that panic and despair.

Alex slides behind me on the bed and pulls me against his chest. Wrapping me in his arms, he rocks while I let it all out.

I cry for the little girl who had to show up in that courtroom and be told she doesn’t matter. I cry for the young woman who had to grow up too fast. And finally, I cry for the person I am today, who can finally relax and heal. With him, with them, I can finally just live my life, instead of trying to survive it.

We got through the hard parts, our childhood with her, the struggling, and lastly, this fight to stay together. It’s done.

Soon, it’s more laughing than tears, and my breathing evens out. Turning in his arms, I wrap my legs around his waist and grab the back of his neck.