Page 104 of The Cost of Love

“If you were me, would you?”

“If I were you, I would have told everyone to go to hell a long time ago. I have an older brother, so I’ll never understand the pressure you are under, but I also have two parents who love me very much.” He leans forward and places his arms on the table. “I think you want me to say it’s okay, but if that is all it took, I would have said those words years ago. You know what you want to do. Stop being a wanker and just do it already.”

I laugh a big, bellied howl. A sound I seem to only be capable of in his presence, and then I finally lower my hackles. Enough has been said by everyone I love. I know what I need to do.

Walking into the penthouse, I’m met by the noise of my family. Music is blasting, Gabby is screaming along, and I hear the chattering of Chanice and Imani. As soon as I reach the kitchen, I see them all gathered around the island watching Chanice cook.

“He’s home,” Jamal yells, before hopping off his stool.

Like something from a sitcom, they all greet me like it’s been days since I’ve been home. In reality, I saw them before I went to work this morning. Anticipating the news of how the board meeting went, they lower the music and all stare at me.

I throw my hands up in the air and yell, “I quit!”

“Thank god,” Chanice says, rushing over to me, the food forgotten.

“Does this mean we are going to be poor again?” Gabby asks.

“Nope,” I say while lifting Chanice in the air. “We are rich with both money and love.”

“What are you going to do now?” Imani asks.

I put her sister down and look at all of them, weighing the question I have been asking myself for months. If I were to walk away from it all, what would my life look like?

“For now, I will have to be interim CEO until they find a replacement. After that, I’ll figure it out,” I say.

“What about your art?” Gabby asks.

“Yeah, you can finally be a full-time artist,” Jamal follows up with.

I look at them, trying to hold the tears back. For once, I am chosen and accepted for exactly who I am, with no expectation to be anything but good to them. That is all I have ever wanted.

“Let’s get through the next few months, and then I’ll figure it out.”

We continue on our evening of cooking and talking. Never quiet or without someone near. When the kids go to sleep, it’s just Chanice and me on the couch.

“How are you feeling?” she asks me, her head nestled in the crook of my neck.

“Free.” The word sighs out of me, unrestrained for once. “And you?”

“I feel like for once in my life things are going to be okay,” she says.

“It will be, because you have us. We’re a family and we will figure it out together,” I say.

“I know.” I hear the smile in her voice.

For once in our lives, we are both entirely at peace. No longer paying the steep price for a sliver of our parents’ love. We have each other, and her siblings, to be the family we always needed, and the cost of that kind of love is priceless.

Epilogue

Four Years Later:

Goosebumps snake up my arm as I walk around the empty gallery. Pieces of art hang on the walls telling the story of my life, and the idea of anyone seeing it makes me want to curl up into a ball. But in less than thirty minutes, the doors will open, and the public will finally get its chance to judge my talent.

I rub my hands through my hair and try to take a deep breath.

“Calm down,” someone says.

I turn around to see Jamal standing there. He’s in black trousers and has a patterned dress shirt on with a tie. He looks so grown-up. The fact that he is in secondary school and almost as tall as me makes it clear that he is on his way there.