Page 46 of The Cost of Love

My head jerks back from the shock of that answer.

“Of course it does.”

He sighs and squeezes my hand before letting it go. Rubbing his face, the look of tension doesn’t leave.

“The strings I told you about, the ones you are scared of. They pull me in directions, whether I want to go there or not. They shape who I get to be. I don’t really have a choice, so I don’t see the point in dwelling on whether or not I want to be this person. I just have to be.”

We don’t have much in common, but I get this. I have so little in my life that I get to choose, I don’t see a point in figuring out if the choices make me happy. But at least I know the reason I’m doing all of this. I don’t think he can say the same. I want to tell him about the kids, how my own obligation to family is shaping who I am as well. But before I open my mouth, my phone begins to ring.

The groan I let out when I sit up is only a fraction of how exhausted I feel after fucking until 3 a.m., but I force myself to go over to my bag. It’s Imani.

“Thank god,” she sobs when I answer.

My back pulls to attention at the sound of the panic in her voice.

“What happened?”

Alexander sits up at that, but I hold up a finger and walk out of the room.

“I’m so sorry, I know I should’ve been watching him. Me and my friend Jeremy were just in the room, I swear. I didn’t know he was cooking.” She is stuttering over her words, stopping to cry every few ones.

“Imani, calm down. What’s going on?”

“We are at the hospital. Jamal burned himself making ramen, and it’s bad, oh god, Chanice, it’s so bad.”

No.

I run back into the room on wobbly legs and snatch up my pants. My hands are trembling as I try to stay calm enough to get to them on.

“What hospital?”

She tells me, and I assure her I’m on my way. She is still crying when I hang up, and I’m fighting my own tears. My worst fear coming true had to happen when I’m not with them. I can chastise myself later, but now I need to get there.

“What’s going on?” Alex is beside me, his hand on my arm.

“I don’t have time to explain.” I can’t find my shoes, and I’m five seconds away from leaving without them when he passes them to me. Rushing to get them on, I start to dial the number for a cab.

“Fuck.” I stop short, my hands coming up to my head. I left my credit card with Imani, and I don’t have enough in my bank to get across town. Alex steps in front of me, fully dressed, like an answer to my dilemma. It’s blurring a million lines, but I don’t have a choice.

“I need you to take me to the hospital.”

He nods once and leads me out.

Chapter 19

Alex

Idon’t know if I’m supposed to follow her, but I rush into the hospital right on her heels. Questions buzz in my brain like an oncoming headache, pushing against my temple. I can’t focus on any of them as I watch her tear-stained face looking for someone to help her.

“I’m here for Jamal Jones.” She rushes the words out, her voice pitching at the end.

The clicking of the keyboard is so loud in the waiting silence as the nurse behind the desk looks him up.

“He is in surgery, but I can buzz you into the waiting area.” She advises us where to go, and soon we are moving again.

Before we reach the place, Chanice stops in the hallway and takes three big breaths. She presses the back of her hand to her mouth to try to quiet the sobs. I step toward her to grab her into my arms, but she starts walking again, a determination in her stride. Pulling her shoulders back, she steadies her breathing just as we get to the room.

When we walk in, two girls rush up to Chanice, their faces matching her own. The smallest one launches herself into her arms, while the teenager babbles apologies in between cries. That calmness she started to gather slides into place, letting her take control.