Page 63 of The Cost of Love

“I just can’t,” Imani says, standing up. A few seconds later, we hear her door slam shut.

Jamal sighs and then starts pulling at his hair. When he notices me watching him, he grabs his book and makes his way to his bedroom, where he quietly closes his door.

I stare at the hallway for a moment before I look down at Gabby. “Are you okay?” I know it’s a stupid question, but I don’t know what else to say to get her to talk.

“I don’t want to go, Chanice.”

I always thought she didn’t remember much from that time, but nightmares seem to dance in her dilating pupils. She grips my shirt, like that alone will keep her here.

“I know, Gabby. I know.”

She stays in my arms, stiff and quiet. I continue to rub her back, hoping at some point she will ease into a more comfortable position, but she doesn’t. She won’t relax, no matter what I do.

It’s not until she can’t fight sleep anymore that she finally loosens up. I bring her to her room and put her in her bed. When I turn, I see Imani curled against the wall on her mattress with the blanket tucked around her. I know we both will barely fit, but I climb in next to her all the same and wrap her in my arms. The vibrating of her silent tears slowly eases as the minutes pass by with me holding her like this. When she is softly snoring, I let go.

Jamal is asleep with his book on his chest, and I know his escape into his love of aquatic life is better than any words I could have offered him. Especially since none of them are guaranteed. So I just tuck him in, too.

Back in the living room, I take a deep breath before I open my phone and get to work trying to stop this.

Chapter 25

Alex

You are lovable. I feel the urge to do it every time I am with you.

Her words have been echoing in my head for weeks. I don’t know what to make of it, and even more so, what to say to her when I see her again. As much as I hoped that this is as real for her as it is for me, her confession that it is seems unbelievable.

She is falling in love with me, and if I am being honest, I have already fallen for her. Between our conversations over text and over the phone, she has bewitched me with her mind. The taste of her body and the feel of her skin have ruined me for anyone else. She has proven every inclination I had right. More than different, she is the authenticity I have been chasing my whole life. All that needs to happen is for her to come to the realization that we should be together.

I’m not a patient man, but I don’t mind waiting until she gets to that point. Especially if she still gives me this full access to her. But as much as I have been working towards the goal of us being together, I have yet to picture what our life would look like.

In an ideal world, we will get to the point of marriage. We will get a place that fits all of us, and she can finally go back to school. I can take care of her in the way that I have been dying to for months. But what will I be doing? Will I still be here? Will having her be enough to make me happy? Before I can solidify a life with her, I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing. I also need to find a way to deal with my mother. It may not be possible to have the life I want and have her be a part of it.

I get ready to head to lunch with Carter when my phone rings again.

It’s Mei. “The baby is coming.”

Before I can say anything, she is giving me the name of the hospital. I promise I’m on my way and leave immediately. When I get there, I see my sister pacing the halls near the nurse’s desk.

“What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be lying down?”

“I am trying to get the baby to drop.” Her breaths are heavy and deep. Inhaling through her nose, she exhales out of her mouth. Every once in a while, her eyes pinch close as she grimaces.

“I’m not dilated enough to push, so they thought this would help.” I grab her hand and put the other on her back, helping her to lean on me. She smiles in thanks before closing her eyes again in pain.

“I called Mum. She’s coming,” she says, looking so happy that I tuck my surprise away.

Maybe that nurturing gene has finally kicked in at the prospect of having a grandchild. Maybe she finally realized that her daughter matters. I don’t get my hopes up.

We start talking about the different baby names she has picked out when Mei walks up and lets us know our mother actually showed up. Liv smiles so bright it looks like all the shadows of her strain are gone. With a speed quicker than I thought she would be capable of, she walks back to the room.

Standing in the middle of it is our mother with a giant teddy bear. The image throws me so suddenly, I have to lean against the wall to hold myself up. Liv makes her way over, pulling her into a hug that seems to rock my mother to her core. I think I can count on one hand the number of times our parents have hugged us, but something in my sister needs this from her right now.

“Thank you for coming.”

Liv shouldn’t have to thank our mother for something that is expected, but she does anyway.

“Of course.” Mother strokes a hand down Liv’s hair before curling it around her finger like she used to. That one moment of comfort has my sister sighing.