Page 124 of Possibly Texas

“But why?”

“I can’t do that with someone who is embarrassed by me,” he said softly, his voice even shakier. “Or who doesn’t know what they want.”

“I was never embarrassed of you. I was embarrassed by me. But I’m not anymore. And I know what I want.”

“No, you don’t,” he said.

Without another word, he walked across the silo and his hands felt around on the wall for something. A second later, the hatch door popped open, a slightly darker oval of blue light appeared. The music poured into the silo. Auggie stepped through the opening and back out into the barn. I stood in the silo, wondering what to do before the interior barn lights came on again seconds later. Without another thought, determined to not talk myself out of what I knew to be true, I dashed across the silo and bounded through the hatch door.

A roll of thunder cracked overhead.

Auggie was at his worktable, his back to me. He had turned the radio off and his hands were gripping the edge of the table.

“Fine,” I said, emotionless. “If that’s how you feel.”

“It is,” Auggie said.

“I can’t force you to believe me that I know who I am. That I think you’re brilliant.”

Auggie didn’t respond.

“There’s only one thing left to do,” I said with a shrug.

Auggie tensed at the table, his hands slowly sliding from its edge. He turned to me, a concerned frown on his face. Another crack of thunder sounded overhead and lightning flashed through the skylight.

“What?” he whispered.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Jordan—”

Lightning and thunder joined forces in the sky once again. Then rain began to pour through the skylight into the barn. Auggie jumped with surprise and ran for the controls to close the skylight. I could’ve stayed and helped him, but it was a one-man operation. Instead, I turned, gave a resolved sigh, and raced for the barn doors. As I approached the barn doors and gripped the handles to throw them open, Auggie screamed from behind me.

“Jordan! Wait!”

I ignored him and threw the doors open. When I raced outside, the rain greeted me, slapping against me, soaking me to the skin immediately. I didn’t stop running. Pumping my arms, unconcerned with watching my steps, I ran away from the barn, headed south. I crossed Liberty Lane, nearly slipping on the wet pavement as I tried to put distance between Auggie and me.

Across the tram tracks I fled, then across the patch of grass and trees that separated Starbucks and the post office. When lightning flashed overhead, my eyes landed on Lovelorn Pass Bridge. I continued to run, racing to the wooden bridge, concerned with nothing except one thing.

“Jordan! STOP!”

Auggie’s screams from behind me were barely audible over the rain and rolling thunder, but I knew he was racing after me when I heard him.

My feet slapped along the pavement as I turned on the road to make my way to the bridge. Resounding hollow “thunks” met my ears as I ran onto the bridge. At the center, I stopped and turned to the railing, my hands reaching out and gripping it tightly. I looked up to the sky, rain dropping into my eyes, my hair plastered against my forehead and skull as I watched the lightning dance through the sky. There was only one thing to do.

Auggie’s feet were clomping hurriedly on the bridge when I lifted my foot to the first rail so that I could climb.

“Jordan!” Auggie bellowed as I raised myself up. “Stop it right now!”

Ignoring his pleas, I climbed the railing, being careful to not lose my footing and ruin the ritual. After a few false stars and near slips, I found myself standing on the railing, my back to Susurrus Creek. Precariously, I wobbled on the railing as Auggie ran up, sliding to a stop in front of me.

“Jordan!” he cried out over the thunder.

“It has to be done,” I said with an emotionless shrug. “I don’t want to obsess over you like Amos was with Lilly. That’s not fair.”

“You…you’ve obsessed over me?” he looked up at me, a shocked look illuminated by the lightning.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I said, the rain slapping against my back.