Page 110 of Pink and Country

“All the fucking time.” I huffed, propping my elbows on the table and resting my face over my joined fists. “I pushed women away for years, and now I can’t fucking—” I dropped my voice, remembering the children close by. “Sorry. I can’t function when she’s not around. I can’t think. I can’t sleep. My bed is empty and cold without her.” I grabbed my hair, trying to silence my throbbing heart.

Belinda neared me and pulled me into a warm hug. I smelled the lilac perfume of her shampoo.

“Carter, you need to tell her how you feel, and you owe it to yourself to figure out if she feels the same.”

I nodded, at a loss for words, my throat clenched.

My morning run helped to push some of my uneasiness away, but it still lingered deep in my bones, underneath the calm surface. The threat of an episode still hovered over me.

“What should I do, Belle? She’s not answering any of my text messages right now. Taylor, my chief of security, is with her, and he tells me she’s okay. I need to hear it from her.” To hear her voice.

Belinda rested her hand on my arm, in a way only mothers did, and gave me a tight smile.

I stood and grabbed my phone on the countertop to call June.

“Good morning. Listen, I need a plane for a round trip to the East Coast. Private jet, coach, or first-class, I don’t care. I want to leave in less than two hours.” Belinda’s eyes grew wide, and she rose to her feet, shaking her head. She failed at hiding her smile.

“Carter, you have a show tomorrow night. You need to get ready. Riley scheduled a meeting this afternoon. They’re expecting you.”

“Make something up or cancel it. Even better, tell them I’ve got a stomach bug. I don’t care. I’ll be back tonight. There’s something I need to do, and it can’t wait. Either that or I’m going AWOL.”

“Carter, I love April, but can this wait?”

“No. April means more to me than you’ll ever know, June. She’s everything. I can either go alone, or you send Ed with me, but I’m not asking for your permission.”

We hung up, and Belinda pulled me into another hug.

“Do what you have to do, Carter. You only live once. You better make the most of it.”

That was all the encouragement I needed. “Thanks, Belle. You’re the best.” I dropped a kiss on her forehead.

I ran upstairs, packed a light bag, and waited for Ed to pick me up in their driveway after a copious breakfast with my friends.

“Good luck, Uncle Carter,” Tristan yelled my way as I tossed my bag on the backseat of the rental.

“I love you, Uncle Catttter,” Kimmie echoed.

I ran from the car, back to the house, kissed both their heads, and jumped back into the black SUV.

“Wish me luck, guys.”

I spent half the flight writing everything I wanted to tell April when I’d see her again. And the other half making up for my lack of sleep.

The words “I love you” didn’t come out easily from my mouth. I hadn’t spoken them out loud in years, except to Jack and Dahlia.

When we finally touched down in Georgia, I had a severe case of restless leg syndrome.

While struggling with my breathing, I shot a text message to Taylor.

Hey, man, it’s me. I’m in town. Please tell me where I can find you guys.

Then, while Ed drove the blue sedan we rented at the airport, I returned Riley’s urgent message he left on my voice mail and found myself in a conference call with June and my new publicist.

The car stopped, and I jumped out with a pounding heart, flutters in my stomach, and dry throat. I rang the bell and waited with my clammy hands shoved in my front pockets, balancing on my heels.

A young woman, about April’s age, with dirty-blonde tresses and hazel eyes, opened the door. Her eyes widened at my sight. She gave me a slow once-over and slammed the door in my face before I could even speak a word.

I stood there, frozen, and scratched the side of my head. What the hell. I glanced over my shoulder at Ed, and he shrugged. I stepped back, and my eyes traveled between the screen of my phone and the golden numbers on the wooden plate by the door. This is the right address.