Page 66 of Pink and Country

The one you’d give forever to.

How hadn’t I realized it sooner? Before I was in too deep, consumed by her. Before my heart only beat to her rhythm. Before she became the highlight of my day and the heroine of my nights. Or before even the idea of spending days without feeling her skin on mine or having a whiff of her lavender perfume became unbearable.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up early. A train of yawns left my mouth. I grabbed the torn envelope I kept under my pillow. It used to be immaculate and white. Not anymore. It’d followed me all around the world for years. I traced the faded black ink letters scribbled on the front. Carter. I turned the envelope around between my fingers, took one last look at the sealed flap, and slid it back where it belonged.

Would I ever be able to open it? I blew out a shuddering breath. Not today.

After tossing and turning most of the night, unable to shush the voices in my head or go back to sleep, I got up. As much as I’d miss spending my day with April, I knew spending the day on my own would be a smarter choice. Old memories had resurfaced after April and I got home last night, and they troubled me, even hours later. They played with all my insecurities.

And knowing April was sleeping downstairs topped my anxiety. One side of me wanted to throw her out and forget everything about her while the other hoped she’d hang around and become mine. That she’d welcome me in her bed and never let me go. My fingers raked through my hair, and my pulse spiked dangerously.

Dressed in faded black sweatpants and a brown hoodie, I tiptoed downstairs and grabbed my keys. With every step toward my truck, I prayed April remained in bed, not strong enough to face her right now. What would I even say to her? Leave, but don’t go? My insides and my head were a scrambled mess. Last night, on the way back from Nashville, a chain had grown around my heart and squeezed it, each pull and twist more painful than the other.

Outside, the early morning was still bathed in darkness. Warmed up, I didn’t feel the cold winter breeze on my face.

My own doubts trapped me in. I’d loosened up for a few days, and now my closeness with April tampered with all the rules I set for myself.

The aftermath of our weekend in Nashville had acted as a cold shower. Where was my self-control when I needed it?

As much as I was attracted to my smart and gorgeous guest and wanted to see where this thing between us could go, I also knew it would end badly. Every relationship in my life always does.

The only thing I had for sure was my career, even though Savannah tried to wreck it with all her fucking lies. Why did I tell April on Saturday I wanted a serious relationship? I’d already tried. And failed. I got burned pretty bad. Sure, April wasn’t Savannah. They had nothing in common, but was I ready to be consumed by another human being? Again? April’s heart was pure. Fame and money meant nothing to her.

But would April ever be cut out to be part of a life like mine? Fucking fame.

Last night, on our way back here, she asked me, “Are you sure your people packed my dress? It’s the nicest piece of clothing I’ve ever owned.”

“You’re attached to a dress?” I raised a brow, not sure I heard her right.

April’s cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink.

“Think what you want, Country Boy, that dress is amazing. I love it.”

The girl fell in love with a dress. A dress . A fucking piece of fabric with glitter.

My lips curled up at the memory. I’d never met anyone like April before.

How could a grown-up woman be in love with sequins and silk—no matter how amazing and tempting they looked on her?

She even insisted on paying for lunch yesterday. Except for Dahlia and my mom, no woman had ever begged to pay a bill in my company. Nope. Not once. Never happened.

People knew I had more money than I could spend in this lifetime. I never bragged about my wealth, but it was common knowledge.

Yesterday, even dressed in her ugly outfit as we played tourists, I couldn’t detach my eyes from the woman.

I hit the steering wheel with all my strength. Fuck.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. In the short time, we’d known each other, April had taken a front seat in my life. She’d not only stolen my heart but my soul too.

Damn it. The realization hit me hard. A knife stabbing my aching heart.

With a hollowed-out chest, I drove to a house on the other side of town that I’d transformed into my escape place three years ago. Nobody knew about my secret hiding spot. Not even Dahlia.

It had an adjacent garage, making it easy for me to come and go without anyone getting a glimpse of me. The place consisted of a gym, a giant TV hanging on the wall, a small kitchen, an old and ugly, but comfortable couch, a bathroom tinier than a closet, and a few guitars. No bedroom or fancy things. Basic needs. A place to unwind. To let go of the things haunting me. It looked more like a teenager’s basement than a grown man’s hangout spot. Nobody would bother me here.

I parked my truck but didn’t get out.