Page 12 of Princess and Country

Jeffrey

My throat closed. No air could come in and out of my lungs. I’d never meant to fall for my brother’s best friend. Especially considering I was pretty sure my brother had feelings for her too. I’d known Dahlia Ellis my entire life. I used to cheer them on when they were just kids singing songs to us in her backyard. For as long as I remembered, I considered her a little sister.

Not anymore.

No matter how I tried to bury my feelings and stay away from her, I failed. Dahlia occupied all my thoughts. Even at school, I became a fool every time I caught sight of her or heard her laughter in the hallway.

Nobody knew about my crush. Not even my friends. It’d been going on for quite some time but had intensified in the last few months. So much that I was miserable the days we didn’t cross paths. I tried to ignore my soaring feelings. I really did.

Two years ago, I even dated Vanessa to forget about Dahlia, but it backfired because she cheated on me, accusing me of not caring about her.

Lately, I noticed how Dahlia had been looking at me. With heat and a glint in her eyes.

Each time our eyes met, my heart either beat faster or jammed in my chest.

Somehow, I wished Carter would have taken much longer to come back home tonight. For once, I had Dahlia all to myself, and I wasn’t ready to give her back. Not that she belonged to Carter. Dahlia belonged to nobody. But deep inside me, I wished she’d belonged to me. That she’d be all mine. Be mine and screw everybody else, I wanted to tell her.

Last night, in the dark, unable to fall asleep, I wondered if what I felt for Dahlia could perhaps be called love. Did being in love make you feel like your heart could explode the moment the other person walked into a room? Because that’s how it was with her. The moment she entered a room, she sucked all the oxygen from it. My skin itched, my lungs idled, my pulse picked up. Dahlia owned parts of my heart I didn’t even know existed before they beat for her, and she had no clue about it.

My eyes stayed glued to her back as she followed Carter in the hallway. Now that she was gone, I could still smell her perfume all over my room. A floral mix I could get drunk on.

I missed her presence the minute she disappeared from my line of vision, leaving me without any viable air to breathe.

Why did I feel so lonely right now?

Except for Carter, I’d never felt so at ease with any other human being before.

Everything about Dahlia fascinated me. Her hair the color of blazing flames. Her contagious smile. The way she fidgeted with her hands when she was nervous. Her moss-green eyes clouding when she was lost in her thoughts. The pale freckles sprinkled over her nose and cheeks that darkened during summer and that I wished I could trace over with my finger.

“Hey, guys, do you mind if I listen to you practice?” I asked as I slumped on the ugly brown sofa in our garage, which Dahlia had covered with a glittery pink blanket years ago to give it a second life.

I wanted to be close to her—breathe her air, bask in her energy—so I invaded their rehearsal space.

“Okay, I’ve made some changes. What do you think about this version?” Carter asked as he played two different intros for the newest song he composed. My brother was a guitar genius. Or prodigy, as Dad often said. When he was four, he grabbed a guitar in a music shop on Main Street and started playing like he’d been taking lessons for years. Then he taught Dahlia. And tried to teach me too, but it ended up being a disaster. I had no rhythm nor “guitar-fingers,” as Carter told me once.

Music was something he shared with Dahlia. What passion did Dahlia and I have in common? I sighed, none coming to my mind. What could we bond over? I scratched the side of my head, my brain rattling to find something. Why was it so important for me to find something we both loved? I was making myself dizzy.

Dahlia stayed silent, not looking at me. Why was she ignoring me? I thought we were good earlier before Carter barged in.

My insides heated up, and I clenched my hands into fists.

My heart lost a chunk for every second Dahlia acted as if I didn’t exist.

I leaned forward, propping my elbows on my bent knees, hiding my face with my hands.

“The second version,” I said, answering Carter’s question about his song, trying to infuse some pep into my words. “What about you, Dah?” I was hungry for her attention.

Carter and I both cocked our heads in her direction. Standing there, with the guitar in her hands and her jaw slack, Dahlia’s gaze traveled between the two of us. She looked adorable in her purple top—her favorite color—and her black jeans with embroidered silver flowers on the back pockets. A bright crimson flush colored her cheeks. Her eyes flared. I bit my inner cheek to avoid smiling.

“I—I—Huh, sorry, I wasn’t listening.” Dahlia angled her face to look at my brother. “Can you play it again?”

Was Dahlia distracted because of me?

Carter played the part again, and Dahlia’s thoughtful eyes sucked me in. She pursed her lips before biting her lower one. How I longed to nibble on her plump lip.

My body overheated. Every inch of me tensed. I rubbed the heels of my hands over my eyes, to dissipate the image. “I need to go, guys. I’ll see you both later.”

Did I nail the calm and composed tone?