Page 52 of Princess and Country

A year later

“You can’t talk to me this way,” Dahlia stated, rage slicing her words.

“I’m not doing anything wrong here. Stop trying to start a fight with me. Am I not allowed to be mad once in a while? I guess I never got the memo if that’s how things are supposed to be. Do you need me to act as if rainbows are coming out of my ass twenty-four-seven? Is that it? You can’t be serious, Princess. That’s a freaking joke. Did the world tour mess with your head?” I huffed.

“Don’t ‘Princess’ me.” Dahlia looked at me with anger swimming in her eyes. If only looks could kill, I’d be dead. Once and for all.

My girl didn’t get it. Nobody did. She and Carter thought they were smartasses, but they had no idea. I didn’t need them to fix me. There was nothing to fix. Dahlia clenched her fists and rested them on her hips.

“I’ve never asked you to be Mr. Sunshine but only to paste a smile on your face once in a while. I’m sure what you went through was hard. Painful. And even devastating. But how could I know? You never talk to me anymore. You tell me nothing. You disappear in your stupid garage every time you’re upset, which is most of the time, or you drink half a bottle of whiskey when you can’t sleep. You spend all your time locked in here. So don’t tell me I’m clueless. You’re the one who is choosing to keep me in the dark.”

A bright red flush crept along her cheeks. Her green eyes darkened as she studied me.

I punched the kitchen wall, making a dent in the drywall.

“Go, ahead. Keep acting like this. It’s much better. Charming even.” Dahlia brought her hands over her face and took a big intake of air as she shook her head. “Jeff, you need help. Professional help. And I’m saying this because I love you. Your entire family is worried about you too. Since you don’t want my help, then find someone else. I’m sure the Army can provide you with a psychologist or someone—”

My voice rose. I spewed fury. “And you think a shrink will erase all the fucking images flashing in my mind all the time? Like he’ll wave his magic wand, and everything will be forgotten? Yeah, right. Keep dreaming. I didn’t think you still believed in fairy tales, Princess.” I breathed out and dropped the sarcasm. With a lowered voice, I added, “It doesn’t matter if I’m asleep or awake. Those images just won’t go away.”

Dahlia’s face smoothed, and she closed the distance between us. She pulled my fists into her hands and opened them. One at a time—I hadn’t even noticed my hands were clenched. “I’m here. I’ll always be here. If you wanna talk, I’ll listen. Don’t keep it all to yourself, okay?” I hung my head and nodded. “Now let’s do something together. In two months, I’ll go back on our second world tour, and our lives will get crazy again.”

My eyes filled with unshed tears. How did I become so bitter? Joining the Army was supposed to help me change the world, not destroy mine. How was my girl still by my side after all these months? I’d been a mess since I came back from the Middle East. I choked on my breathing just thinking about it. I couldn’t put what I’d experienced into words. None of it happened the way it should have. Those women died. My hands trembled. My pulse picked up. Beads of cold sweat popped on my nape. I cocked my head to stare at my girl.

“I need you, Dah.” My voice was shaky. “I’ll always need you. I’m sorry for shutting you out. One day, I’ll let you in. Gimme some time.”

I fisted her hair and crashed my mouth on hers as if her love could save the remnants of hope lingering somewhere inside me. Dahlia looped her arms around my neck and sank her body into mine. The feeling of her boobs pressed against my chest sent bolts of electricity down to my dick. Our tongues danced together in a messy kiss, both of us yearning for each other.

“Fuck.” I lifted her black sweater over her head and yanked her yoga pants and panties down her legs. Her braless tits stared at me, their tips pink and puckered. “Turn around.” Dahlia spun on her heels and braced herself against the kitchen table—the one we’d recycled when I first bought the house years ago. My woman had made more money than she could ever have dreamed of by now, but we were still living in our DIY house. Because for us, it was home. We needed nothing more.

I dipped one finger into her wet center and soon added a second one, stretching her tight channel. Dahlia yelped. I spread her moisture all over her folds, and she shivered as my thumb circled her clit. From behind, I eased into her in one thrust. Dahlia melted in my arms. She arched her back, and I curled an arm around her bare chest. Her tits bounced every time I rammed into her.

My girl lowered her head and sucked my thumb into her mouth. She twirled her tongue around my digit before biting it. It stung. But the flicker of pain made me even harder for her. Heat rippled along my spine. My balls tightened. Dahlia stiffened in my embrace. She let go of my thumb, and my hand traveled down her body to grab a handful of her breast, kneading it to fit my hand. A low, guttural growl tumbled out of my mouth as I pounded into her a few more times. My vision blurred. I saw stars as I shot my load deep inside her. Dahlia came hard, her body quivering against mine. We both surfed our climaxes. Once the pleasure dissipated, she relaxed between my arms.

We stayed like this for a minute, trying to catch our breaths.

Dahlia broke the silence first. “I needed this. I needed to connect with you.”

I peppered kisses on the moist skin between her shoulders, then linked them with the tip of my tongue, enjoying the saltiness of her flesh.

I sighed.

The ball of fury inside me had dissolved.

Dahlia always had this effect on me. Each time we found each other—after one of our storms—she soothed my troubled mind and everything else inside me. If only I could find a way to let her in. But I refused to let her see my demons. How much the war had damaged me. The images haunting me were mine. Dahlia didn’t need to share them. They were mine to tame. Mine to overcome. Never would I be willing to corrupt her pure soul.

“Come here.” I turned Dahlia and pulled her into my arms. “Let’s take a shower. I want to make love to you this time. To cherish every inch of your body. I’m sorry for being a mess. It has nothing to do with you. You’re the light keeping me going. I love you.”

My lips feasted on hers.

Everything around us vanished.

I needed to find a way to come back to the woman I loved. To be the man she deserved.

“I love you,” she said against my mouth.

And my heart swelled in my chest, lighter than it’d been for months.

Our souls fused together, and for a few hours, I knew I’d feel like the old Jeff. The guy I missed so damn much and feared I’d never be again.

When we kissed, it chased away the cloud of darkness around my heart, and we were back to being the teens in love we’d been years ago. Having an insatiable desire for each other. After all, we had over a year to make up for. So many promises to fulfill and wounds to heal.

Then morning came, and everything inside me darkened.

My heart turned to stone.

And my mind flew back to the war.

Again.