Page 38 of Hope and Country

“I’m a guy. I have needs. Not the same. And who said I don’t have a say in your life? No one. You’re my responsibility. Under my protection. Keep your mouth shut if you don’t want to make a fool of yourself.”

“You think I’m an innocent virgin? Wrong. A fragile porcelain doll? Wrong again. I’m not a stupid child. Those days are over. I don’t need you or anyone else telling me how to act, Robbie. Go save someone else. I never asked for your protection. I’m good on my own, thank you very much.”

Was it something I said or the fact that I opposed him? I had no idea.

But some wires got crossed in my brother’s head, and the next thing I knew, his hand flew to my throat, strangling me against the wall.

“Don’t you disrespect me. I’m everything to ya; the only man you should trust. I’ll always make sure you’re safe and you have everything you need. I’m doing this because I love you. You are forcing me to hit you. This is your fault. Don’t you know family comes first? And I. Am. Your. Family. Say it,” he hollered.

My entire body trembled in terror.

He let go of me, and I landed on my knees on the hardwood floor.

I bit back my tears.

“You’re lucky I didn’t get my hands on that fucker tonight. Next time you see him, I’ll make sure you watch as I break all the bones in his body. One by one. Your call, sis.”

Just so that I remembered his words, he raised his steel-tipped boot and kicked me hard on my side. Pain flared like the conflagration of heat as every nerve in my body got activated. My lungs stopped midway, and no air passed through. My rib muscles spasmed; blood flow to my brain stopped. My vocal cords refused to move. I couldn’t call for help. I was choking in pain.

Robbie smiled when he saw that. He bent down and ruffled my hair. “It will pass, sis. Don’t worry.”

Robbie slithered to the door and let himself out.

Only then my body relaxed, and a scream made its way up my throat as hot scorching tears burned down my eyes. Darkness swirled around me, thick and suffocating. I searched all around. Anything to anchor me to the present. In vain.

My hand rubbed my throat while the other clutched my side. My body broke down into heart-wrecking sobs. I tried to muffle them, but they emerged out. Breaking the barrier of my restraint. Shattering my walls.

My fingers traced the edge of the blanket, searching for that worn spot. The one I’d rubbed so many times between my fingers when voices would rise in the night. The one that brought me comfort. Even after all these years. I couldn’t find it.

Panic froze me.

Where was I? Robbie would get to me. He would hurt me. He always did. No matter where I hid.

Stifled screams left the rim of my trembling lips.

My heart jackhammered in my chest.

Both my hands cupping my mouth, I rose to a seated position.

High-pitched whimpers broke the dark silence, rattling each bone in my body.

Images invaded my mind.

I blinked them away.

I needed to stay put. Not make a sound. To avoid waking the beast.

This was all a dream, I hiccupped. Just a dream. Was it? Or was I only trying to convince myself?

I perused the room, nothing visible in the darkness.

Why did all of this feel so real? Why was my achy flesh throbbing? And air unable to reach my lungs as if someone had crushed my airways?

Moans left my mouth as I desperately tried to regain some of my senses. I needed to find peace again. I needed Riley. I dried my tears as my heart heaved. I got off the bed, and in a trance, my feet directed me to the only haven I knew, the only one who could keep my demons at bay.

16

RILEY