Page 48 of Rising Star

“Just rest for now. Want me to get you a prescription to help you sleep?”

“No. I refuse to numb myself. Thanks, though.”

After I followed protocol and put on another set of sanitized clothes, I returned to Madison’s side. Bending over the bed, I grazed the small patch of skin with no bandage on her forehead. “Get better. I love you and will be back in the morning. Emily will stay with you tonight.” My lips curled into a tentative smile. “Don’t give her trouble, okay? Good night.”

* * *

I crashed on my bed as soon as my feet landed on my bedroom floor without even undressing. Devon had called earlier to tell me she’d keep the girls overnight. She’d taken them home after dinner. The gears of my brain worked at a dizzying speed. How did I go from hopeful to this version of despair within a day? I had no clue how to stay positive while facing this type of tragedy. Madison, my heart, the tour, my children. They had formed one big chaotic mess I wasn’t ready to analyze. My insecurities clung to me like a second skin.

Madison must be freaking out. Even though she couldn’t express herself now. In the state she was in, how much could she understand about her situation? Could she tell her life was holding on by just a flimsy thread?

My stomach churned at the idea she was aware of the reality that had hit her.

I wondered if she could tell or if the medication prevented her brain from forming thoughts. There were so many questions swirling in my head for which I had no answer.

Then it hit me. That the next few hours could change the course of her life. Forever.

My eyes burned, and I sealed my lids, using my fists to press over them to relieve the sting. The one reminding me I was alive. And had to stand up for those I loved.

Unable to sort out my own thoughts, I abandoned myself to sleep, praying I would wake up and this shit show would turn out to be a very horrible dream.

The subdued voices of my daughters woke me up the next day.

“Justine, walk on your tiptoes,” Mikaella whispered. “Don’t wake Daddy up.”

“Okay,” my baby whisper-shouted. “Can I kiss him good morning?”

My eldest daughter sighed. “Sure. Uncle Riley said to not wake him up. That he didn’t sleep for long and needed his rest. Hurry.”

“Do you think he’s still sad?” Justine asked.

“Yes, Justine. Devon explained it to us. Maddie got hurt, and Daddy is taking care of her.”

“Will she go to heaven?”

I heard Mikaella’s loud swallow. “I don’t know.”

Their conversation roused me from my sleep. I blinked, trying to make sense of everything that had happened the previous day. A stone was crushing my chest, preventing air from fully reaching my lungs. According to my daughter’s discussion, none of it was a dream.

Trying to evade my gloomy thoughts and needing some love, I sprang to a ninety-degree position, and my girls came running into my arms.

“Daddy,” they screamed.

This morning, I hugged them a little tighter than usual. “I love you,” I said in a gruff voice that betrayed all the tears I had cried in the last twenty-four hours. “I missed you two.”

“Where’s Maddie?” Mikaella asked.

“Is she okay?” Justine asked next. “Can we see her?”

I sat them on my bed and inhaled through my mouth to dissipate the wave of nausea swirling in my empty stomach. “Let’s see. Maddie had an accident yesterday morning. She got hurt a lot. The doctors did their best to repair her broken bones and heal her wounds. Now she’s asleep because it will help her get better. She gotta rest a lot.”

“Is she going to wear a clast like Mika?” Justine asked.

“Cast. And yes, I think she will.”

“When will she come back home?” Mikaella asked next.

I rolled my shoulders back, trying to project a bit of confidence, even though my tone betrayed my agitation. “I don’t know. Her sister is with her. And her parents will get here later today. I might have to spend a little time there too.”