Page 6 of Rising Star

I stretched my arm to get my device to look at the time. Nine o’clock. With the heaviness in my limbs, I would have thought it was much later. Many notifications filled the screen. The first was a text message Riley sent three hours ago. I clicked it open.

Riley: We’re fine.

Along was a picture showing him, Devon, and the girls at a pizza place, all grinning.

The new one was of my girls deep asleep in his guest room, Hope, their dog, squeezed between them.

Riley: See, more than fine.

I smiled at this sight and typed back.

Me: Enjoy. They turn into monsters on day three.

Riley: No, they’re adorable.

Me: I know. Kiss them good night for me.

Riley: Will do. I’ll call you in the morning.

I placed my phone beside me and tilted my head back. Madison muttered something in her sleep, and I froze to avoid disturbing her rest. I held my breath, waiting awhile, wondering if the nightmares would make a comeback.

They didn’t. She mumbled some more until she fell into deep sleep.

Her company filled a void I never knew existed in my heart.

I missed that. Having a woman to cuddle. To care for. To love. Sure, I had my daughters to keep me busy and fill my heart with butterflies and magic. But I missed having a woman in my arms. In her sleep, Madison circled my waist with one arm, and I was a goner.

A part of me yearned to stand and run away. To leave the room, but I couldn’t because the rest of me longed for her comfort as much as she required mine.

Hating myself for not being strong enough to do the right thing, I removed the pillow at my back and lowered myself onto the bed, and without giving my brain room to think, I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.

* * *

The early morning sunrays filtered through the drapes and blinded me as I forced my eyes open. I fastened my arm around the woman splayed over me. Until my brain caught up and I remembered it wasn’t just any woman, but Madison, my children’s twenty-one-year-old nanny, wearing only a bathrobe.

Fuck.

The realization I’d slept in her bed, our bodies entangled, chased the last traces of sleep from me. I could feel the softness and warmth of her legs and stomach against my skin. What did I do? How could I have been so careless? This was a ginormous mistake. A big setback. Putting the tour at risk. If it went to hell, I’d never forgive myself. And Riley would kill me. My kids would never forgive me if Madison decided to leave us. They loved her. They needed her. I depended on her. And needed her too. Much more than she’d ever know.

Why was I acting like a hormonal teen instead of a grown-up man around this woman?

Just as traitorous as usual, my morning wood stretched tall and proud, and her hand moved too close for comfort. My breath wheezed when I tried to squirm out of her hold. I failed. Her eyes sprang open, and I flinched internally at this situation. And cursed at all the saints I could remember the names of in my head.

Just when everything in my life almost made sense again, I screwed up the fragile balance by sleeping with the nanny. Well, not sleep with her, but beside her. As if that changed anything. We slept in the same fucking bed. In each other’s embrace.

“Hey,” I said, to break the awkward silence, running a hand over my face, unable to look at her just yet. “Listen. I’m sorry. I tried to warm you up, and I kinda fell asleep. This wasn’t planned. Won’t happen again.”

My body vibrated at the excitement of her not being in a hurry to escape my arms and the situation I put us in. It was like she belonged there.

The mishap woke up a thirst inside me.

For the first time since Lisa left, I wondered when I’d let myself find love again. One day. When the girls were old enough to understand. When they were ready to welcome another woman into their lives.

Trying to conceal my more-than-obvious erection, I pulled the blanket over my lower body.

Madison detached from me and sat by my side, her hair disheveled, and her lips a dark shade of pink. And it reminded me of that morning after we kissed. A lifetime ago.

I focused on her face. Sporting flushed cheeks and shiny eyes, I wondered if she was still feverish.