Page 20 of False Promises

Shaking my hands and stretching my legs, I released the last fragments of tension swirling inside me, my eyes rounding. “You are?”

“Yes. June set everything up. I wanted it to be a surprise. We’ll be on the road with you for three shows, then we’ll go back to Green Mountain.”

My breath caught in my lungs. And fresh tears threatened to break my composure.

With a long inhale, I wrapped my arms around Dahlia and Jack. “Dah, I think you just gave me the strength to commit fully to this solo career. Wow. I can’t believe you’re coming on this tour with me. Even if it’s only for a few days. And even if you are not onstage with me.” My grin doubled in size.

All the weight I’d been carrying around for the longest time dissolved. The fog in my head cleared. And a sense of lightness I hadn’t felt in months spread through me.

“Wish me luck. I’ll see you two after the show. God, I love you so much.” I kissed Dahlia’s cheek, ruffled Jack’s hair, and stormed to the place where I still belonged, my heart so big that I feared it’d burst out of my chest.

Standing in the middle of the stage, I took a full minute to take every detail in. The screaming crowd. The I love you, Carter and We miss you handwritten signs some people were holding above their heads. The intoxicating energy emanating from everyone in attendance.

With a palm over my heart, thankful for this chance, I cleared my throat. “How is it going, guys?”

More screams. More cheers. More applauses. My lips stretched so wide I feared I would never be able to erase the smile from my face.

“I know it’s been a while. Life happened and for a moment, I got lost.” These people who came to see me weren’t fools. They had seen the media headlines about my retiring after my bandmates quit. And about my brother’s passing. I believed being honest and vulnerable was the least I could offer them tonight. I heard a Will you marry me, Carter? from my right and people chanting my name from my left. “My brother Jeff was my biggest supporter. Even when I was just a teen, he would drive me and my bandmates to every festival or event so we could play. He never complained. He did it with the selflessness of his heart. He was a good man who got stolen from us, from me, too early. If he were here with us, he'd be standing on the side of the stage”—I pointed to my left—"not missing a second of my performance. That was the kind of guy he was. Generous, honest, forgiving.” I tilted my head back and looked up for a split second and cupped my heart. “He’s in here.” I pressed my chest. “Tonight, I wanna dedicate my first show as a solo artist to him. Because I know he would approve.”

I blinked and swallowed, trying to keep my emotions under control, even though I was sure anyone standing too close could witness the moisture filling my eyes.

“Guys, it is an honor being here and sharing this night with you. Thank you, all y’all. For believing in me. Are you ready for some great music?”

The enthusiasm of the crowd warmed up my blood. My name on their lips created a furor in me. An energizing high.

With steady fingers, I strummed the first chord cementing the Carter Hills 2.0 version of me.

Exhilaration waltzed through my veins.

Music was my drug of choice. My salvation. And my life.

For an instant, I could picture Jeff standing backstage, like he always did, giving me a thumbs-up. And Dahlia and Stud playing beside me.

I perused the space around me and caught sight of Riley, who nodded his encouragement. June had her hands clasped together under her chin, smiling. Dahlia stood tall by their sides and blew a kiss my way, with Jack, wearing noise-canceling earmuffs, fast asleep in her arms. Regardless of what happened in my life and what would happen in the future, the people who really mattered were still beside me. My tribe. My family. My heart.

They were right when they said I was back where I belonged.

6

CARTER

High on adrenaline, I couldn’t walk offstage. This was my place. Where I should be. Where my heart, body, and soul felt the most at peace. But the memory of the last show I gave a little over a year ago—and the aftermath of it—still made my bones shudder with pain and bitterness.

It had been the trigger for my downward spiral.

The beginning of the end.

After my bandmates and I gave one of our best shows, everything good in my life crumbled.

Tightness grew in my chest at the mere thought of it.

My throat constricted.

The encouragement from the crowd brought me back to the present moment. At the love aimed at me, my heart swelled, jumping in all directions inside my chest cavity.

“Okay, guys. It’s been a long time since I’ve done a concert. And earlier, the idea of being back up here by myself scared me a little, to be honest. But here I am. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. You guys tonight are amazing. I think this deserves a little celebration. I’ll play two more songs for you.” I coughed to clear the thickness in my throat. “These are Carter Hills Band’s original songs I wrote a long time ago, but I’ve made them my own. So here it goes.”

I attacked the first chords of “Heart for Rent.”