Page 95 of Kickoff

She swallowed. “Hi.” Her tongue swept her lips, and I followed the slow movement with my eyes.

I looped one hand around her waist, pulling her closer.

“Mase…?”

“Mel… I know a few tricks that can make you forget we’re hanging in the air and that we’re stuck here for a while. And I’ve been thinking about kissing you for a very long time. Permission granted?”

“Mase, I can’t…”

“Mel, I wanna kiss you.”

“I wanna kiss you too.”

“So can I? Kiss you, I mean.”

“Not sure it’s a good idea.”

I blinked. “Why?”

“You’ve kissed a lot of girls, and I don’t wanna be just another girl you do this with. The last time I kissed someone, he thought I was willing to offer more than I was ready to. I don’t want the player you are with everyone else. If I’m kissing you, it has to mean something to you too.”

“So, it’s a me problem? I’m aware my rap sheet isn’t all clean…”

“Nah.” She shook her head multiple times. “It’s about me this time.”

“Mel, I wanna say… I’m not a player around you, okay? Never have been. I would never mislead you. In case you have doubts, I wanna put it out here. I love this friendship thing we’ve got going on. It’s important to me. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to explore this crazy chemistry we share and see where it takes us. It’s nothing I’ve ever experienced before, and I’m kinda unable to think about anything but you.”

“Our friendship or whatever we have going on is precious to me too. For now, though…that’s all I can be…your friend.” The lust in her eyes said the opposite. Like she was dying to kiss me too, to lose herself in what we could be. The expression on her face looked painful. Was she going against everything her heart was urging her to do?

“The other night… I didn’t imagine it. I was drunk, but not enough that I would have mistaken your coming apart in my arms for a dream.”

A light blush colored her cheeks. “We must file it as a mistake. A moment of weakness. We cannot fool around because I’m not that girl, Mase. I cannot give you something without the assurance it’s real for you too.”

“I would never take something you’re not willing to give, Mel. You know me better than that.”

“I’m aware. It’s just… You’ve been telling everyone since you turned fifteen you would never date. So, what does it make me then?”

“The one.”

“Don’t stay stuff like that.”

I dragged a hand over my face. How could I make her see it was real for me too? “I’m not interested in playing the field anymore. I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I acted stupid for far too long. All along, you were the only one I dreamed of being with. I know it doesn’t erase my stupidity, but it’s the truth, and it’s about time I come clean about my feelings.”

“I don’t want you to have feelings for me. Not yet. If you do, it’s gonna mess it all up. I can’t… It’s too hard if you do. The pressure. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to deal with it. Not right now.”

“What do you mean?”

She blew out a breath, looking away. “Nothing you have to worry about.”

I gripped her chin and turned her head so she was facing me. “Talk to me. Nothing you just said makes sense.”

“It makes sense to me.”

“Let me in. Please. I wanna help you. No matter what you need.”

“I gotta do this on my own.”

“But—”