Page 63 of SnowBound

15

ANDERSON

“Anderson. I missed you so much. Come, hug your mama.” My mother enveloped me in her warm embrace the minute I passed the threshold of the front door. She lived in a white rancher house with white siding and black trims, doors, and shutters on a half-acre property. Colorful flowerbeds and a well-manicured lawn, that she spent multiple hours a week caring for, covered both the front and backyards. A large wooden back deck connected to the living room through a set of garden doors and overlooked an old white oak where my gramps hung a swing made of a tire and rope when I was just a kid. A small pond, where I spent countless hours playing when I was little, separated the property from the neighbor’s. A few miles from downtown Memphis, my childhood home reminded me of summer days and endless fun with my friends, and it always smelled like trees and grass. It was calm and quiet, far away from the city’s commotion and busy streets.

I dropped the bag and guitar case at my feet and wound my arms around her. I loved my independence and my life in New York, but I missed my mother too. Growing up, it had always been just the two of us.

“Hey Ma.” I planted a kiss on her cheek. “Glad to be home.”

“Not as much as I am. I baked chocolate chip cookies for you. They’re still warm and cooling off on a rack in the kitchen.” She tugged my hand, pulling me further into the house. “Oh, and I made lemonade too. Let’s sit and catch up.” She stopped in the hallway leading to the kitchen and swiveled to look at me. Her soft hand caressed my cheek, and a smile curved her lips. “Why does it always seem like you’ve grown up since the last time I saw you?”

A chuckle left my mouth. “Ma, you know I’m nineteen and my growth spurt is over, right? I was the same height when I came back for the Holidays four months ago.”

She shrugged. “I guess. It’s good to have you home. I wish you were in town for the whole summer. Soon you’ll have your own life and won’t visit much. You grew up too fast. I swear you were a toddler in a diaper emptying kitchen cupboards yesterday.”

I snickered. “I guess. You said cookies a minute ago.”

“Follow me.”

I draped an arm around her shoulders and motioned her closer. My mother wasn’t a tiny woman, but next to my six-foot-two height, she looked small.

We chatted about everything and nothing for a while until she asked, “What’s going on with you, Anderson? You smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. Something’s bothering you. Talk to me.”

Over the years, my mother had always been more of a friend to me, and I had a hard time keeping anything from her.

I propped my elbow up on the table and ran one palm over my face. “It’s nothing.”

“Anderson Curtis Ford. Didn’t anybody ever tell you that you were a bad liar? You have that face. Talk. Now.”

I averted my eyes for a long second before bringing my attention back to her, my chin resting on my fists. “Huh…I need a break from my own life. Remember the girl I told you about? The one from the airport?”

She nodded.

“I’ve been trying to find her. For months. In vain. She unblocked something in me, and I’ve been writing my best music since I met her. I’m scared if I forget about her, it will impact my creativity.”

“Then don’t. Don’t forget her. Keep her alive in your music.”

“That’s the other thing. I’m haunted by the memory of her. Not sure if it’s as simple as it seems. And you know Bethany? She’s the one I went out for a few dates with last fall?”

“The one who had gotten out of a toxic relationship at the time?”

“Yeah. We’ve been talking. She wants us to get together next semester. For real this time.”

My mother leaned forward and grabbed one of my hands in hers. “Is that what you want? Date Bethany?”

“I suppose… She’s smart and nice.”

“Why do I sense a but?” She tipped one eyebrow, waiting for me to explain. My mother possessed a sixth sense where it concerned me.

“How can I be invested in a relationship with a girl when in my head, I keep writing songs about someone else each minute I’m awake? It’s kinda sick. I’d be cheating on her with the memory of another girl…” I lifted my eyes to meet hers. “Do you get what I mean?” I inhaled. “Gosh. Just hearing myself say it out loud, I sound lame.”

“Oh, I see.”

“What should I do? It’s so fucked up. I can’t be in love with a girl I only met once. Still, the time we spent together, it felt more real than any other relationship I’ve ever been in before.”

“Anderson, I wish I possessed magical powers that would make it all okay. But I don’t. You’re here for two weeks. Take the time to unwind, think about other stuff. Enjoy this vacation and clear your head. Go out with your friends. Maybe when you get back to New York, things won’t be so messy.”

“You think?”