Page 73 of SnowBound

“Well, all my stuff is in the car, so I’ll get going.” My voice sounded broken and so low I bet my mother had a hard time hearing me. Still, I had to get it off my chest. “No matter what, I’ve always loved you. And I’m sad you think I’m not enough for you to love me back. I committed no crime. I just loved someone for a short while and this”—I said cradling my belly—“happened. I’m sorry you feel punishing me is your only option. And that treating me like a stranger is okay. Because it's not. You were pregnant with me once. How would you have felt if the people you were supposed to trust the most had kicked you out like you never meant anything to them?” My voice trembled, but I breathed in, trying to keep my calm and my emotions in check. “I’m still your child. No matter what you choose to believe or convince yourself of. And the sad part is that I will get over it—over you. One day, I’ll probably even forgive you. Not for you, but for me. Because I don’t wanna live with a heart made of stone and bad memories. But you’ll never get to know my baby. Your only grandchild. And that is the real shame. That is what breaks my heart. I know I’ll fall back on my feet, but you’ll forever have to live with the fact you threw me out when I needed you to love and accept me the most. A parent’s job isn’t only to deal with the beautiful. I’m not someone you should be ashamed of. I’m a great person. I have good values. I’m a hard worker. Honest and funny. And I choose to believe that good things happen to good people.”

I paused, praying she would tell me she had made a mistake or that she didn’t want our relationship to end on a sad note, but my mother remained silent, her posture stiff and her focus before her.

“You used to be fun. Back when I was a child, you were full of energy and always smiling. I’m sorry you lost yourself in all these years. It’s never too late to get that part of you back. But it might be too late to rekindle whatever we once had. I wish you well and hope you are happy. Goodbye, Mother.”

For a quick second, I thought I saw a tear cascading down her cheek, but she turned away from me. And when she moved back to her prep, her face was blank.

She refused to look at me, and after a long minute of awful silence, I spun on my heels and left the only house I’d ever known as home in my short life.

* * *

With all my possessions stacked in a corner of our hotel room, Ellie and I decided to freshen up first before going out to grab a bite and walk around town.

I exited the shower when my friend knocked on the bathroom door. “Abby, don’t dress up just yet. I got you something.”

Curious, I secured a towel around me and went to meet her by the bed. “What? You’re already doing plenty. You don’t have to.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t spend your summer dressed in sweaters and leggings. You’ll faint from heatstroke. Not good for the baby. Here.” She handed me a shopping bag.

I lifted a brow before emptying the contents on the bed. Two summer dresses, four T-shirts, two tops, a pair of shorts, a pair of jeans, and a skirt. My eyes brimmed with emotions. “Ellie… You didn’t have to but thank you,” I said, pulling her in my arms and squeezing her so tight she had to beg me to let go.

“I thought you deserved to look cute this summer.”

“I’ll never be able to repay you for everything.”

“It’s a gift. Be grateful. Say thank you and try it on. The lady at the maternity store said it should fit you even when your figure changes through the months.”

A wide smile took over my face. I picked a dress, an A-line sky-blue number with fluttery sleeves.

Feeling better than I had in a long while, I took the time to add a coat of shimmery lip gloss and mascara. Admiring myself in the mirror, I spun on the balls of my feet. I felt like myself again. And pretty for once.

Ellie clasped her hands when I exited the bathroom. “You look perfect.” She linked her arm with mine. “Let’s go and eat. I’m famished.”

Seated on the terrace of a small eatery, Ellie ordered too much food for the two of us. We chatted for the next hour like we hadn’t seen each other in months when, in fact, it had only been a few days.

“You sure your parents are okay with your spending money on me?”

She let out a loud laugh. “Kidding, right? As long as I’m not messing with their perfect lives, they much prefer me to have a field trip with their credit card. You’re aware I’m nothing like the daughter they pictured when I was a child. I’m way too wild and free-spirited for them. If I were the one pregnant, they would fund me the apartment, the nanny, and everything I might need, just to make sure I stayed away. In many ways, they are not much different from your parents in their old and outdated ideas of how women should live their lives. The main difference between us is that mine accept my craziness as long as it doesn’t impact them. They want me to thrive.”

“Well, I wish I had that. Parents who accepted me.” I downed my glass of water. “Were you serious when you said you’d visit this shelter with me? It kinda makes me nervous to go there on my own.”

“Hell yes. No way are you living there without my approval.”

“Thanks.” The ice cubes clicked together as I swirled my glass. “Think it will all work out in the end?”

Her smile dimmed, and she nodded. “I do. Hang in there, okay? Just a bit longer.”

“I’ll try.” Reality hit me. Like a ton of bricks straight to my chest. I was on my own. Ellie would leave in a couple of days, and I would have no one else to rely on. The thought scared the shit out of me, and I tried to hide my fears under a curl of my lips to prevent my best friend from ditching her own life to make sure mine was on track. Because Ellie was that selfless and she would put her own dreams on the back burner if she thought I couldn’t manage on my own.

Her voice snapped me out of my drowning thoughts. “Tomorrow we’ll drive to Memphis, sleep there, and come back in time for your appointment on Friday afternoon. How does it sound?”

“Great.”

“I heard Round and Round is the place to be on Thursday nights during the summer. They have those trivia nights every week. And we, girl, we rock at those. Wanna go?”

I nodded. “Yes. Could be fun. To be young and free for a night.”

She raised her glass to clink my empty one. “To us.”