Page 78 of The Broken Hearts Club

“Nothing but fear, and that’s not enough of a reason to stay put.” She shifted a bit so she was facing me and said, “You’re my inspiration, Collie. I know you were terrified to leave home and move to a city you’d never been to, where you didn’t know a soul, but you did it anyway. I’m not even doing that. I’m moving to be with my family, in a city I’ve visited several times and know I like, and it’s still scary. You’re a freaking rock star for doing what you did.”

I grinned at the compliment and said, “It sounds like you’re really doing this.”

“Yeah, I think I am.”

I squeezed her hand and told her, “I’m proud of you, Jean-Jeannie.”

That made her smile. “Thanks. That means a lot.”

“You know who’s going to be really bummed, though?”

“My in-laws. But here’s the thing—my father-in-law retired last year, and they keep talking about selling their big house and downsizing. I don’t think it would take much to convince them to move to New Mexico, so they can be close to their only grandkids.”

“I love that. It’s like you’re leading the great southern migration, with U-Hauls instead of covered wagons.”

“The more we talk about this, the more it seems real.”

“Good, then let’s keep talking about it. I’m really excited for you!”

“I checked by the way, and it’s about a thousand miles from Albuquerque to San Francisco. That’s a pretty long drive, but it’s less than a three-hour flight. Wherever we end up living, I’m going to make sure it has a guest room for you and Miller.”

“Good, because we’ll be visiting often. No question. And you know our door is always open for you and the kids in San Francisco.”

“I’m definitely going to visit,” she said. “But I’m going to wait until that one is just a little bit bigger.” Colleen was half awake and blinking her big, blue eyes, so I kissed the top of her head and handed her to her mama.

Jeannie got up and told me, “Let’s go see how your husband is doing. I know he’s eager to get you home, so he can have you all to himself.”

Twenty minutes later, after tears and hugs and promises to talk soon, I said goodbye to Jeannie and climbed into the van. Then she gave Miller a big hug and made him promise to take good care of me. “You know I will,” he said.

She smiled at him and nodded. “I do know that.”

As we drove off, I hung out of the window and waved until she was out of sight. Then I looked around and murmured, “This is probably the last time I’ll ever see this place.”

Miller asked, “What makes you say that?”

“Jeannie’s talking about joining her parents and sister in New Mexico. If she moves away, there’ll be no reason to come back here.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“I’m thrilled for Jeannie. It’s exactly what she needs. But it feels strange to think I’m leaving for good this time. It feels so… final. That’s okay, though. Sometimes the best thing we can do with the past is let go of it.”

Miller followed the same route we’d taken when we first arrived and drove me past all of my “landmarks” one last time. It was bittersweet, but it also showed me how much my life had changed.

When I’d left the first time, I’d been terrified. I was headed toward a total unknown—a huge, intimidating city I’d never even visited, where I didn’t know a soul. Now I was going home, to the wonderful life I was building with the man I loved.

I shifted around to face him, as much as I could with the seat belt on, and said, “I want you to know I’m going to take such good care of you Miller, now and forever.”

He grinned and asked, “What brought that on?”

“I was just thinking about how much you’ve done for me, and I wanted to tell you it’s a two-way street. I’m here for you, just like you’ve always been there for me.”

He reached over and squeezed my knee. “I know you are.”

After a pause, I asked, “Why did you do all of that for me when we first met? It was so much, but we barely knew each other.”

“It’s because you needed me, Collie, and I needed you just as much. Imagine a plant living in darkness that finally saw the sun. Every part of me reached for you, and craved you, and needed you desperately. I’d been trying to convince myself I was done with relationships, because I was afraid of getting hurt again. But right from the start, I knew I couldn’t live without you.”

I teased, “A plant, huh?”