Page 38 of Thaw My Heart

The river rages, but my eyes keep searching, desperate to find her, but too much time has passed. Breathing feels heavy. The air is too thin and so damn cold. My endless cries into the dark seem useless, scraping my vocal cords.

Sadie is gone. I failed her.

My eyes begin to burn, but then I see a flash of caramel-brown hair floating on the surface. Jumpstarting my heart. I jump off Smoke, filled with adrenaline, running towards her. The hood of her brown sweatshirt is caught on a branch, and Sadie is unconscious.

Carefully, I wade into the edge, reaching for her. My knee locks up as soon as the icy water pierces through my skin, but I push through it, gritting my teeth. Nearly slipping on the rocks before managing to grab hold of her arm.

Once she’s in my grasp, I carry her out of the river and lay her down on the riverbank, putting my head to her chest. Her heartbeat sends my pulse racing.

She’s still alive, but she isn’t breathing.

Swiftly, I perform chest compressions, pushing down with force. “Come on, Sadie,” my voice shakes in my throat.

With my mouth to hers, I force my warm breath into her cold mouth. But she still isn’t breathing.

I do it all again, cursing at her as she refuses to breathe. “Don’t you dare fucking die on me, Tequila,” I command.

She is not allowed to die.

“Do you hear me?”

Another chest compression.

Another force of air through her mouth, too pale and too cold, as she lies still.

“Sadie?” My hands shake as salty tears slide down my cheek, mixing with the cold sleet that continues to fall. This is all my fault… I should’ve pushed harder.

“Sadie, please! Open your eyes.”

I do it again, and again.

Shouting and cursing her name. Desperate for her to open her eyes and antagonize me, but her mouth is so cold. Each second, she gets further and further away. Her heartbeat slows beneath my trembling hands.

Time is running out.

“You are not allowed to die,” I growl at her unconscious body, tears flowing as steadily as the sleet. “Do you hear me, Sadie?” She’s too cold. Too still.

If she doesn’t start to breathe soon, I’ll lose her.

“I can’t—please… Please don’t do this. Please don’t—” the words cut off from my shaking voice. “Sadie, fucking breathe! Please, breathe goddamnit. Breathe!”

My fist slams into her chest. She finally opens her eyes, gasping for air, spitting out water.

I bring my shaky hand to the back of her head, holding her close, noticing the tiny freckles on her nose for the first time. The small freckle on her chin, just below her bottom lip. “You scared the shit out of me,” my uneven voice rolls out of me.

“Hey, Cowboy,” she smiles with half-closed eyes, shaking violently from the cold. My hand tightens around her, still coming down from the adrenaline pumping through my veins. She glances around. “Is she safe?”

“The goddamn cow is fine.” I tear off my navy Carhartt, wrapping it around her shivering frame. Pulling out my phone to text Hudson to make sure those three cows end up where they need to be.

Hudson won’t ask questions; he’ll just do it.

Sadie’s lips are still blue, but there’s a bit of warmth blooming in her cheeks. I need to get her home and warm, but she needs a doctor, and I can only think of one person that I trust.

Except she’s the last person I should be asking for help.

“I’m—I’m so cold,” she shivers.

“I’ve got you.” I wrap my arms around her and carry her to my horse, wanting to rip into her about how fucking angry I am for her reckless behavior. But not until she’s warm and safe, then I’ll let her have it.