Page 56 of Thaw My Heart

Probably Blake.

“Are you… alright?” she softly asks, like she can’t find the words.

The warmth in her eyes is too much. I want to fall to my knees right here. Tell her how much I want her. How I can’t stop thinking about her. Beg her to choose me, but my pride won’t let me.

My past hurt won’t let me.

“Fine,” is all I say as the door of my truck slams shut.

“You’re a terrible liar, Cowboy.”

Whatever that something was between us, I wasn’t going to be anyone’s second choice.

Not again.

Something in Kit has changed.

I thought he was grumpy the moment we met, but he’s ten times grumpier now. Maybe it’s the stress of his new promotion, or maybe this is just who he is—the grumpiest man in Northern Montana. I’ve seen him a few times in the past two days, running around, keeping his eyes on every­one and everything, completely absorbed in his duties. And although his lingering eyes always seem to find me, he’s barely spoken two words to me.

I still can’t believe I found him smoking on his front porch last night. Kit is an entirely different person from my ex-husband… but still, my mind will not cease to make comparisons. To wonder if Kit would ever hurt me in the same way.

Thoughts that sicken me to my core.

Last night I waited for him to come home. To question him about it, but then once he was in front of me, I froze. Despite my frustration with him, the feelings burning in my heart came rushing back in his presence, and my mind went blank.

Fine.

He’d said.

But he wasn’t fine, and I don’t know what I did wrong or why he turned so cold. He was acting as if I’d run over his dog or kicked his grandma—things I would never do.

Over the past two days, I’ve been working extra shifts, practicing the guitar, making frequent visits to see Averie, and consuming a shit-ton of iced peppermint mochas with way too many marshmallows on top. I’m surprised I don’t have diabetes.

But this silence between us is getting under my skin.

I’m tempted to knock on his door and demand what his problem is, but Averie’s fancy white Jeep pulls up before my impulsivity takes over. And lucky for him, he’s not here.

The fireplace crackles as we settle in on my leather couch with a thick cream blanket draped over us and a cup of hot cocoa in each hand. Extra marshmallows in mine, of course. Fox curls up on the faded rug in front of the fireplace, belly up. One of her favorite sleeping positions.

We planned this evening to celebrate early Thanksgiving, or “Friendsgiving” if you will. Averie wanted me to join her family for lunch in two days, but as much as I loved the idea, I didn’t want to miss out on my first holiday at the ranch. And there’s supposed to be a party at the Mess Hall. Free food and drinks, and that sounded like too much fun to pass up.

So, date-night it is.

“This house is so cute,” she glances around, admiring the cozy and rustic aesthetic of my cottage-style home decorated in an assortment of Christmas decorations I recently purchased. As well as a new poster of David Bowie with the quote, I don’t know where I’m going, but I promise it won’t be boring. “It fits you well,” she finishes.

“It’s the best home I’ve ever had,” I admit after a pause.

Sadness settles into her happy aura. “Nebraska sounds like it was awful to you.”

My throat tightens. “It was.” I stare at the marshmallows in my hot cocoa, not sure what else to say.

Averie nudges me out of my sadness. “Are you sure you want to attend Cowboy Thanksgiving instead of joining your super awesome celebrity best friend?”

“You know I wish I could.” And I did. But Blake is also looking forward to taking me to the party. If only I could be in two places at once. “Please tell your family I’m thankful for the invite.”

“Of course,” she smiles. “So, how’s the ranch going?”

“Every day is a dream come true.”