Page 66 of Thaw My Heart

“Tequila,” he replies, but there’s no emotion on his face. He solemnly nods to Blake and strides away, heading into the main barn.

Anger burns in my heart, frustration pouring out of me before I can stop myself. "Why does he have to hate me so much?”

Working on this ranch used to be a stress reliever. Now it only seems to be a constant reminder of how much my neighbor, boss, and most likely future ranch owner hates me.

Blake hops off his horse, chuckling under his breath. “He doesn’t hate you.”

“He won’t even talk to me anymore.” Not that he ever did, but before, at least, he was somewhat pleasant. Why do I have confused feelings about someone so god­damn frustrating?

Someone who clearly wants nothing to do with me.

“You saw him at the party,” I continue with my rant. “He can’t stand the sight of me.”

Blake points after Kit, disappearing into the barn. “He hates that he has a big ol’ crush on you, but he doesn’t hate you, Sadie.”

“What?” I whirl to him.

Blake just nods, confirming his words.

“Kit has a crush on me?” I repeat. A rush of heat burns in my cheeks. “How do you know? Did he say something?”

He tucks his hands into his pockets. “He watches you when you’re not looking,” Blake admits, and I feel my chest tighten. “He always has.”

My heart swells with emotion.

He always has.

He pauses, taking a long exhale. “A man who does that is not a man who hates you, Sadie.”

Warmth swirls around inside me at his honesty, but I’m still too pissed at Kit to feel anything but frustration towards him. “Then why is he so… ” The words die on my lips as I gesture towards the main barn. There are too many words to describe him to pick just one. “You know?”

“That’s not my story to tell,” he murmurs.

I pause for a moment, remembering the conversation I overheard with Alaska and Kit. “Dakota,” I guess. The ex that must’ve done a number on him.

He adjusts the rim of his black cowboy hat, squeezing his lips together, like he’s preventing himself from speaking. “That’s something you’ll have to ask him.”

I glance at the barn and then back to Blake, tapping my boots in the melting snow. Not sure what to say or do next.

“You should talk to him,” he continues.

My laugh strains my throat. “Yeah, sure. What a great idea,” the sarcasm practically drips from my mouth.

“I’m serious. I know you like him, too,” he admits.

My gaze snaps to his. A wave of guilt rushes through me as red blooms in my cheeks. I bark a laugh to convince him otherwise, but he sees right through it. “I do not like him. He’s an asshole. I hate him.” My body wants to ride him all night long, but my mind loathes his entire personality.

Besides, the fantasy of him is probably better anyway.

“Yeah, maybe…” he smooths down his dark beard. “But despite all that hate, you like him,” a faint smile brushes his lips.

“I do not,” I shake my head.

“It’s okay,” he takes a small step towards me. But none of this is okay. This is everything I’ve been trying to avoid. Pain that I never wanted to cause. “Look, as much fun as I’m having with you, I know the feelings you have for me are… different.”

I try to find the words to say, fiddling with my long braid, but his words are true, and if I try to deny it, I’ll just be lying to him again. And he doesn’t deserve that.

“As great as it would be if you felt the same,” he continues. “I want someone to feel that way about me.” My heart sinks deeper into my chest, burying closer to the guilt that’s been consuming me since we started dating. “You can’t blame a man for trying, though.”