Page 26 of More Than Meets the Eye

Before she could say as much, though, he rushed on.

“I know it’s a despicable pastime.” The pressure on her hand increased again. “I only took it up out of desperation, and when it turned out I had a talent for it, well, I decided a short-term suspension of my more high-minded principles would be acceptable if it produced a long-term benefit to my family. In all honesty, though, I despise gambling. I’ve seen too many lives ruined by it.”

Well, that sounded encouraging. Evangeline’s spirits rebounded. He was half reformed already.

“My father was one of them. Several years ago, he was lured into deep play and lost everything. Unable to face what he’d done, he took his own life.”

“Logan.” His name leaked from her like a moan. Tears clouded her vision as an unbearable ache radiated through her chest.

She knew the pain of losing a parent, but her parents had died from illness. They hadn’t left her intentionally. What agony Logan must have endured to lose his father in such a sudden, violent way. She couldn’t imagine the devastation. The helplessness. The anger.

Evangeline touched his knee with her free hand, driven to comfort him somehow. “I’m so sorry.” The words were too small, too inadequate, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say. Nothing could make that situation better. Nothing but time and God’s grace.

Logan turned toward her, and for once, he made no effort to mask his feelings. Raw agony lined his face. “Every year, my mother slips further and further into melancholia, and I’m helpless to stop it.” Something fierce lit his eyes. “I’m not just investing in this land for financial gain, Eva. This investment serves a greater purpose. It’s a step toward justice and recompense against the man who cheated my father and destroyed our family. It’s all I have left to offer my mother, to free her from the dark place inside that is swallowing her up little by little every day.” His voice resonated with righteousness and an intensity that almost frightened her. Light flashed in his eyes for an instant before he dropped his gaze to his lap and softened his tone. “What must you think of me?”

She thought him incredibly courageous to share such a piece of his soul with her. What this man had endured! She tugged her hand free of his hold just far enough to clasp his hands in both of hers. “Justice is important, Logan. Too many suffer because people are afraid to take a stand or too consumed with their own problems to get involved. I admire you for wanting to make things right, but . . .”

No, she shouldn’t say it. He didn’t need her interference. He needed her compassion.

He raised his brows in challenge. “But?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, Eva.” He gripped her fingers and shook her arms lightly. “Tell me.”

She nibbled her bottom lip.

“Eva?”

“What about your mother?” she blurted. “Don’t you think she needs you more than she needs vengeance?”

“It’s not vengeance, it’s justice.” His jaw clenched, and he pulled his hands away from hers.

Eva slumped. She knew she should have kept her mouth shut.

“And I was with her. For years. I’ve only worked in the logging camps for the past three. She lives with my aunt, and I make regular visits. But my presence doesn’t seem to help. She spends long hours in her room, sewing or reading or just lying in bed. We only see each other at meals, and even then, she rarely engages me in conversation.” He paused. Swallowed. “I think she sees my father when she looks at me.”

He ran a hand over his face. “She was the one who found him. In the barn. After.” He sighed, and the sound was so mournful, it broke Evangeline’s heart. “I was out gallivanting like usual. Didn’t even hear the shot. By the time I came home for supper, she had washed away the blood and covered my father’s body with her best tablecloth. She sent me to fetch the undertaker. Wouldn’t let me see more than the good side of his face so I’d know it was really him. I’ve tried to imagine what it must have been like for her. . . .” He shook his head then bent forward, planting his elbows on his thighs and burying his face in his hands.

Evangeline rubbed his back, tears rolling freely down her cheeks. “Don’t torture yourself, Logan. She spared you that burden intentionally. Out of love. A mother protecting her son.”

His shoulders quavered, but he sucked in a breath and turned his attention to the sky in a bid for control. “She lost everything that day. Her husband. Her home. Her future. Now she lives off the charity of her sister in a house that doesn’t belong to her, with a weight on her that grows heavier by the day. She never smiles. Never laughs. And nothing I do helps.”

And that was the crux of the matter. Evangeline leaned her head against his shoulder. Flashes of the train wreck passed through her mind. She didn’t recall many details. She’d been too young, and Zach had kept her away from Hamilton as best he could, but she remembered how helpless she’d felt, how bereft, how she’d blamed herself. After all, if it hadn’t been for her and her stupid eyes, Hamilton would have found a home with a family long before the train derailed.

Fortunately, she’d had good memories to cling to and new brothers to care for her. Smiles and laughter eventually returned, thanks to a little divine intervention, and the world became a place of beauty and hope once again. Unfortunately, Logan’s poor mother seemed stuck in the dark, chained by the past, unable to move forward.

Logan surged to his feet, leaving Evangeline awkwardly attempting to catch her balance. “My mother deserves recompense,” he declared. “She deserves justice. Maybe then she can find peace.”

“Peace doesn’t come from outside a person,” Evangeline murmured softly. “You can’t give it to her, Logan. She has to find it within.”

He didn’t turn, just stood stiff and straight with his back facing her, so she didn’t know if he’d heard her or not. But she couldn’t leave the rest unsaid.

“There is only One who can provide peace. He’s knocking on her heart even now, but it’s up to her to answer.”

Silence. Tense, charged silence. But he hadn’t stormed off. Hadn’t snapped at her to mind her own business. Hadn’t demanded she get off his property. Things could be worse.

“I had another brother,” she said, shocking herself with the admission as she rose to stand behind Logan.