Page 22 of Hearts Lost

Did I think Aloserin was pale before? The blood drains from his face faster than I could spit, and suddenly he’s the color of mare’s milk.

“The— animals?” he stammers.

“It’s fine,” I snap.

I yank another fruit from the bag, take a huge bite out of it, and chew loudly. The fruit tastes a bit like wet sawdust, but hey, I’m still alive. I force myself to swallow, then try to give Aloserin something like a smile. Very delicately, he reaches forward, plucks the fruit from between my fingers, and sniffs it. His nose wrinkles.

“It tastes terrible,” I admit as I frown at the fruit in his hand that he’s ignoring. “But it’s not poisoned. Look, you were unconscious for five days. If I was going to kill you, I wouldn’t have waited until you woke up.”

Aloserin gives me an expression that might honestly pass for a smile. Then, without taking his eyes off me, he raises the fruit to his lips and takes a bite. He winces as the fruit crosses his lips.

“Voids,” he says, through a mouthful of fruit pulp. “This’s awful.”

A sound that’s almost a giggle rises to my lips. I slam my hand over my mouth before it can escape.

“It’s all I’ve found so far,” I say. “I didn’t want to go too far, because—”

My voice fades. Aloserin swallows then nods.

“The void moves,” he says.

Relief spreads through me like warm honey. I hadn’t even realized how worried I was that he wouldn’t believe me, or that I wouldn’t be able to find the words to describe what had happened to me here.

Or that I was losing my mind.

I swallow hard.

“There’s a river over there,” I say, pointing past the trees. “The first time I went, it took only a few minutes to reach the shore. But when I turned around to come back here, to where you were, it took almost all day.”

My voice pinches at the end as the echo of my own fear washes back through my chest. The sky had turned dark all around me as I’d run from the river toward where Aloserin was sleeping, where he had to be sleeping, because I couldn’t have gotten so horribly lost so quickly. Unless I really had gotten lost, and I wouldn’t find my way back to Aloserin, and I’d be alone here forever.

When I’d finally made it back to the field of blue grass, which seemed to stretch on forever, and then to the little shelter I’d made of Aloserin’s cloak, I’d collapsed in a heap and sobbed so long and so hard that the strange little shadow animals had poked their heads out of the woods to see what was making such an odd noise.

I shiver and run my hands along my arms.

“That’s part of what makes the void so dangerous,” Aloserin says. “You can’t map it, because it moves. And people get lost.” He takes another bite of the fruit, chews thoughtfully, then swallows. “That, and the void beasts,” he continues. “And the trekker’s curse.”

“How do you know so much about the void if you’ve never been here?” I ask.

Aloserin makes a sound like a dry twig snapping in his mouth.

“My parents,” he replies. “They’re obsessed with the void.”

Something about his voice makes a shiver dance across the back of my neck.

“So, they’ve been here, then?” I ask. “They’re explorers?”

He laughs, sharp and bitter. “Voids, no. My parents don’t do anything. They just own things.”

I decide I’m not going to touch that one to save my life and settle on one of the other many disturbing things he’s said in the span of time it’s taken him to eat one lumpy orange fruit.

“Curse?” I ask.

Aloserin puts the last bite of fruit into his mouth and shrugs. We stand in silence for a moment as he chews. Somewhere in the forest, the shadow animal edges closer to us, worried about me. Searching for reassurance. It’s okay, I think, sending calm toward the creature. We’re just fine. Aloserin swallows then brushes his hands together.

“The trekker’s curse,” he says. “Trekkers are people who travel through the Outer Ring seeking adventure, excitement, what have you.” His tone manages to simultaneously suggest that these people are idiots and that he’d like to join them.

“Some of them even go into the void,” he continues, “and that’s where the curse comes in. Because the people who enter the void never make it out.”

“Because it moves,” I mutter.

“Among other things,” Aloserin says, with a dark glance toward the woods.

“But, some of them have to have made it out,” I say. “Otherwise you’d never know anything about the void. It would just be a big, blank space on the map.”

Aloserin makes that expression again, the smile that looks like he’s trying not to smile. “Right. But even the ones who make it out, the ones who bring artifacts to sell and illustrate their journeys and travel around to all the grand houses in the Crystal City to regale the high-born families with tales of their grand adventures, they all tend to disappear.”

Another shiver works its way down my arms. I try not to let it show.

“Disappear?”

Aloserin nods. “Some say they lose their minds and kill themselves. Others say they go back to the void, pulled in by its siren song. And that’s the curse. You can leave the void, but never for long.”

“Shit,” I hiss.

Aloserin’s lips twist in a way that makes me think he might just be fucking with me. Some part of me wants to punch him again.

“I think I liked you better when you were unconscious,” I say.